happy movie marathon day...

wanted to play vietnam but apparently someone has screwed around with it so that we can't connect to anyone's server... *sigh*...

had a call from puppy last night, she going on and on about americans... lol... its so surreal listening to her, she in another world, a world i barely know, only from movies and tv, and yet she is right there and is living the american dream... so love listening to her voice... thank you for calling puppy, made my otherwise slow movie marathon day a tad more brighter...

movie marathon... started off with :
5.07 am monday morn - love actually : this movie had rave reviews from tech, even though it being a christmas movie/feel-good movie/mushy-gushy-stuff-u-should-only-watch-with-gf's movie and yet it didn't fail to entertain me with its sweet moments... (perhaps i'm a sucker for these movies, just don't tell anyone ok?) if you're gonna watch it, look out for the cameos, the stand in actors scene and the british accents... 8/10

proceeded with lotsa sleep... next up :
6.45 pm monday evening - u-571 : i've had this vcd of like forever, since the movie came out, i think, and only now i have gotten around to watching it... impressive movie... like the action scenes, claustrophobic to the max and is good entertainment... 6.5/10

proceeded with dinner with a sweet young lady *smile* and then :
9.56 pm monday night - say it isn't so : i had this nagging feelin that i've already seen this movie before and yet the urge to see heather graham was too much to ignore... funny movie and light entertainment, only for those lookin to pass time without much thinking involved... 6/10

running out of cigarettes, should go buy some soon... :
2.30 am tuesday morn - resident evil : i've already seen this movie and being a fan of the game, i love this movie. plus it has milla jovovich in it so... there! fast action sequence, guns, zombies!, weird mutated creatures, special squad soldiers, crazy computer, super killer virus, underground lab, hot milla jovovich with a gun, kicking ass... ah... just what a man needed... lol... 9/10

that was a good ending to the marathon... should do it more often, and this time with movies i've never seen before... started playing magic battlegrounds till 6 am and still my housemates were not home yet... went out for breakfast and they show up at 7... and then one of my housemates decides she wants to watch love actually... oh well, here we go again... later...

there and back again...

haven't been online for like ages... i feel lost... yet the urge to go online is slowly losing its grasp on me... this always happens... i go in like almost everyday for like months and then i just withdraw... on and off... i guess its the social factor of the net. i go on to connect with ppl... ppl i'm close to, those i know and those i might or soon will... nowadays there is so lil ppl i talk to online... funny way of interacting for an introvert... or maybe not...

i still have a fucking cold and sore throat that has lasted for the past 2 weeks... pushing off recording because of it, don't wanna waste time and money recording sounding like a dead frog...

news flash!! a certain person who accused me of stealing has finally called up and apologized... i asked why now? what made u say sorry after what u did? the person answered that he/she appreciates our friendship. *smile* really? told the person to go post it on my blog instead. haven't heard from that person since.

having this amalgamation of emotions nowadays... depressed, happy, lonely, sad, excited, hyped up, melancholy, indignant, resigned, blur, lost, content, ignored, love, kinky, hatred, disbelief... i know some of em don't really qualify as emotions but they seem to describe most of what i have felt the past 2-3 weeks... wish i wasn't this volatile... thankfully my mood swings are under the skin and not noticed by most... i think my fav emotion is melancholy...

i'm a believer of karma. so firm that it scares me sometimes... i believe if i do something wrong to someone then something bad will happen to me... equivalent or worse... i've had too much shit happen to me in the past that the fear is real and right in front of me. i am unable to be evil, or even bad, unless it's retribution. even then i try to move away from any direct evilness... and yet ppl close to me don't seem to know that... *sigh*... let see what else you don't know bout me...

top 5 things u might not know about me [in random order]:
5: i don't eat any fast food, ask me why only if you really wanna know...
4: i cannot, i repeat, cannot sing. i rap...
3: i like britney spears... yes really, even her music...
2: i'm not that smart, at all, just streetwise...
1: i can't pronounce the letter "r"...

this "everytime" by britney is really growing on me... whats with this song? on a lighter note, a friend has got a job starting tomorrow, now he's back on track i guess its my turn. and to think that he was on the verge of giving up all his dreams... think i'm approaching that soon... can't be too far over the horizon this one... later...

publishing blog 50%...

linked to sean's blog, one half of the evil lafaber twins...
added a sms thingie... thx to tech...
gonna play vietnam now... later...

pick or choose...

what a long weekend... had a really nice time on friday, even though i got in trouble for it... *smile* was worth the trouble though... the heart is a fragile thing and one is supposed to be careful with it, yet one still jumps in with both eyes closed... oh well...

emceed the kdu school of communication prom night, dubbed "a night on the red carpet". its funny how i get on stage and make a fool out of myself and i get paid for it. i even got compliments for it, (surprise...) and might get more jobs there... even though i do admit, i'm far from being a good mc. performing is my forte and i'm still learning the emceeing part...

heartbreak as my beloved dutch team crashed to a painful loss after being up by 2 goals... 2 of the czech goals were scored by liverpool players(roar of approval/dissappointment)... what a game...

played in a wrestling card game tag team tourney today and won it with joe. what a long weekend... later...

sugar & spice etc.[part deux]...

well now, apparently after reading the entry, the person messages me and says, i lost money, u were the only one there thus u stole it. wow! can someone say "elementary my dear watson?" who made this person hercule poirot??
btw i didn't accuse anyone else of stealing money from my ex's place, rather i just defended myself. is one not entitled to defending one's self when accused? thus am i pointing fingers at them? my answer, no.
and no doubt those involved have also defended themselves, thus are they pointing fingers elsewhere, i.e. me? my answer, no.
you asked what's up my ass? my answer, you.
and now i am defending myself against another accusation. i may be a bastard, tactless, accidental jerk etc. yet i am no thief.

i have learnt a long time ago that if someone has made up their mind about something, its too hard to change their thinking. i had so called "friends" who jumped side the moment trouble was in sight and didn't give me face or respect that i deserve even though i am, to them, a "friend". what does the word friend mean to u? i know it means a whole lot to me. as i said before, its a strong word.

now this person doesn't seem to consider even the remotest possibility that i might not have stolen the money. all i can say to that is that i don't care anymore. think what u want. i didn't steal the money. i could put that person's name, number, friendster profile, house address here and humiliate him/her. yet i won't, because 2 years ago, i was dead broke and that person borrowed me rm100. until today i remember my debts. i give that person face and will stop my ranting about this whole episode (hopefully lest there be more juicy stuff that happens). and when i have money i will pay that person back. bottom line: that person just lost me as a "friend".

maybe one day the truth about the matter will be out. until then, i'm just as clueless as everyone else... later...

sugar & spice, and everything nice...

to those who do read everything on my blog, and i mean everything on my blog, you would have noticed this one particular comment :

Anonymous said...
yeah right...your ex wont say a thing to accuse you? yeah, yeah, yeah...but you gave shits to her friends! and you know what..same 'incident' goes to me when the morning you left from my house on the 13th june...what's up your ass? why are you doing this to people...well...see you this saturday at the prom! yeah, you gonna pay for this sashi! btw, it's not because the amount of the money...it's your honesty, loyalty and sincerity that counts! i can't believe this sashi...(and my other friends too..your ex and her two school buddies? what about my other classmates? maybe? yeah...hopefully they'll find out about this too!)

10:19

well for someone who seems to be accusing me of stealing his/her money, they like hiding behind an Anonymous name. mmm... i wonder why. then as i proceed to call this person up to ask whats up, i'm conveniently redirected and then my calls are canceled. well now if u got shit with me, or if u think i stole ur money, have some guts to face me and accuse me to my face rather than act like a chicken and post it on my blog. u know my number, u know where i hang out. give me a benefit of the doubt and ask me if i did it instead of giving me the guilty verdict... some ppl... later...

maybe baby...

interesting comment... wonder who it was...

news flash, my phone's back in order so calls are welcome... cost me freakin rm35 to fix it... need to get a new phone... later...

sarahbob and the works...

i've been named sarahbob by a friend... she has no inkling why i should be called so and yet she insist that i have it. *smiles*

i have reached a point in my life where i have been climbing the hill/mountain/volcano and yet i'm almost there but i've been stuck on this one particular plateau for like almost two years now. the finishing line is in sight and yet i just cannot reach it. i just cannot get over the pinnacle. i need to go the light... its so beautiful...

surviving. such a great word. sums up my life for the past three years... if i write an autobiography of myself, it should be called "surviving, and the works...".

being broke sucks, so if there's any rich ppl put there with lotsa money and not knowing what to do with em, just throw em my way and i'll make it work.

excerpts from a totally meaningless conversation and yet so mind-boggling :
frengers says:
do YOU have a cool hat!?!?
frengers says:
seriously tho, go see it someday.. (the emperor's new groove)
[] *** playtoy *** [] says:
i have a hat
[] *** playtoy *** [] says:
donno if its cool though
frengers says:
kronks hat is the coolest ever
[] *** playtoy *** [] says:
no contest huh ?
frengers says:
nope.
frengers says:
unless...
frengers says:
u were a cartoon!!!!
[] *** playtoy *** [] says:
LOL
[] *** playtoy *** [] says:
i wish
[] *** playtoy *** [] says:
then things would be SO much easier

won't it be easier to be a cartoon character? u cannot die, yet u can be erased. pain is next to non-existent. and everything is a punchline. u don't have to eat. you don't get cravings. you can do whatever you want...
and yet you're not alive... guess thats why being human is so... fucked up? lol... oh well.. later...

leaving on a jet plane...

rudy left on friday... gonna miss the guy. no more pretty boy attracting all the girls for me and the rest of us deprived gamers in [wolf's game shop, lodgings and bed & breakfast]. oh well... i know someone who's thrilled that rudy's goin to aus... my dear lisha, who seems to be going thru a "who are my friends?" crisis thx to a previous entry of mine.

always remember girl. ASK for help and thou shalt receive. u do have friends, just that they hide in dark corners... *smile* and now that rudy's there...

back to rudy, a guy that has grown immensely since the time i knew him till now, especially for the better... have fun in melbourne dude. don't forget us lil ppl back home... later...

everytime i fall ...

i've been having that britney song in my head for the past week. something about it that just seems too familiar... wonder if that song was a remake...

just added a new blog link, shamsul as i know him and atoi, as others know him(apparently)... cool guy...

to those who don't know already, even though i've already posted this before, my phone is screwed for the meanwhile. i can hear the person on the other line but they can't hear me. so to those who do attempt to call, just talk to me cos i am listening... or just sms me. or just don't bother(lol)...

still waiting for a financier for my single, "legend of boo", as the verses need to be re-recorded. found someone who can master songs for a cheap price but if anyone has any ideas just gimme a holler. hoping the song would be ready for release by the end of july, together with jimbo's single as well as dual shock's.

featured in a tamil rap album recently which should be out now...
group : hyperkinetix
album : vegam vivegam
song featured in : vegam vivegam
they be a bunch of cool guys who sound like no other i've heard so far, extremely talented and very easy to work with... thx hash...

friendster.com/myspace.com/hi5.com etc... how many of these are one supposed to sign up for? i'm on all of the above and yet i find it troublesome. should've just stuck with friendster i guess... oh now i remember why i didn't. it was one of those bloody missing messages incident. and day in day out i notice all these beautiful women who seem to have climbed out of the woodwork (or maybe everyone's growing up now and i ain't getting any younger...) i used to say beauty is one to be admired, and i still stand by that statement. being single does have its perks... later...

be a superstar, and more sex, LIES and videotape...

my friend is currently in line for the malaysian idol audition as i type this in right now... hope he makes it. another friend already made it so thats great news...

now, just as i am about to write more on what i think of these "be a superstar!" shows, i was rudely interrupted. it just amazes me how some ppl just cannot keep their voices down or just don't realise how irritating they are. i might just leave this post short just because of an idiot. maybe not...

i've got a story to tell. last saturday, my ex-gf who's right now is happily married and has a bouncing baby boy invited me over for dinner together with her two best friends from school. we hung out, had some beers, pasta, the works. now what got to me was the fact that the next day she messages me and says that it saddens her to know that someone would steal from her purse the night i was there. she didn't accuse me but i think she just didn't know what to think.

now, i know i didn't take the money. even though i'm broke like fuck, i don't steal from friends. i would've just asked. but what kind of friend steals from a friend? how stupid can u be? think she wouldn't notice? i'm not naming names and neither am i accusing anyone of anything. it could even be that my ex had misplaced the money. but somehow i am really restricting my standards for who i call a friend. it used to be narrow and now its worse... i probably have like less than 10 ppl i actually call a real friend.

i think friend is a very strong word. so is hate. later...

may i please you ?

well... it's been so long since i touched source codes/html that i'm just cut and pasting my way into this... adding links, telling ppl... man i miss those days when i just sit in front of the pc and and work on html and flash. now i'm so lost that i can't recognise commands from line breaks...

think i'll add the stuff i wrote in hi5 here... longer time spent online... later...

welcome to the mad house

well lets see... why the mansion u ask? one of those things that just pop into my head and i tend to overuse again and again... just like the nick playtoy...

what do i say, what do i tell and what is there to explain... lets see...

#1 : my phone is screwed... it won't let me talk to the ppl who call me. they can't hear me yet i can hear em... i wonder how many important calls have i missed so far... maybe even the job that i've been waiting for and yet the call never came... now would be a terrible time for them to call me and offer the job...

#2 : i am working on my album and unless u hear on the radio that i have a single or album out, i'm STILL working on it. understand that it is self-financed, self-produced, self-written etc. etc... so it will take time... rushing anything just to get it out kills quality, or so someone wise said once, and i agree ...

i think i do have more to tell yet right now i'm stumped... 4.46 am is a blur time of the day for me... its like 11 pm... not sleepy yet body starts shutting down ... later...