that sinking feeling...

no matter how strong a bridge is built, all it takes to bring it down is a simple flaw...

somehow i've reached a point in my life where i can't just simply do whatever i want. whatever i jump into requires lotsa thinking... like for instance, a month ago, i got pressured into going for a job interview (a proper*sic* job) and i did the whole shebang... assessment test and proper job interview. right before the last interview, i told my mom,

me : i'm gonna get this job but i don't think i wanna do this ma...
mom : why?
me : it's not what i want to do... i don't think i'lll be happy at all...
mom : well, do what u think is right...

of course when your mom says that, it's still leaves ones heart real heavy...

and yes i did get the job. the very next day in fact. it was an interview i was trying to fail yet i passed it anyway... and what did i do? told my mom that i got it but i won't take it cos i went for the interview due to pressure from her and my sister anyway... and i told my sister that i did not get the job...

do i regret this decision? right now?

no.

i don't want to live life regretting everything i did or being afraid of regretting what i "should've" done... or what i should not have done... life's too short to worry bout such events...

i figure if i say this enough times i'll believe it too...

you build something for your future and all it needs to fail is a simple human factor... they say to err is human, yet when it is the same error over and over again, you just can't believe the stupidity of it all... read kitty's blog and it just reaffirms what i believe...

no one truly learns from their mistake. they just learn how not to fall so hard as before...

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on another note, i'm currently working in sunway pyramid for the batman begins promo there at the concourse area. so if anyone's in the area from 12 to 9, drop by... i'll be there till this sunday...

on day one of working there, the tgv's marketing manager gives me a free ticket to go watch batman on opening night... damn i love my job!

i loved it! it felt like watching a really long movie trailer... rudy's right though. it needed a better soundtrack. if i'm not mistaken it was hans zimmer and another guy who did the music. ironically, i don't remember hearing even the trademark theme of batman that's been there since the first movie... otherwise, best movie of the year for me...

gotta go back now... sleep beckons. work tommorow... if anyone wants batman merchandise, please drop by... i'll try my best... later...

word of the day...
serendipity

• noun the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

revenge of the fifth...

we finished fifth and yet we're playing champions league football next year! you'll truly never walk alone...

i've been away for a bit... first was penang, bkt jambul shopping complex and then the weekend after that was kuantan megamall... event: celcom xpax special edition star wars starter pack promotion. azmin would've loved this job. both events was fun and i met up with some old friends... nice to see old familiar faces...

then when i was back, it rained.

in my case when it rains, it pours... god and his amazingly sick sense of humour. or is it his sickeningly amazing sense of humour... anyway, first my car has been having battery problems... then the morning i decided to go get it fixed, i noticed something funny. my other window was smashed as well! to those who don't know, my driver side window was smashed last year and i have been driving with a plactis window since then. now my passenger side window has been smashed as well. was anything taken? no. the door wasn't even opened. they smashed it out of spite. someone just plain hates me i guess...

fuck.

managed to survive without a car for a week. then played in the malaysian regionals tourney and went 3-1. all i needed was another win. alas it was not to be. i lost the next 2 consecutive matches and finished 3-3 and at 18th place.

fuck.

was browsing through my friends blog till i was looking thru kinkybluefairy's blog. now she being a photograper, she puts up lotsa pictures... and was looking thru this pool party she was at and i was like wow. i know alotta ppl at that party. and it looks like it was lotsa fun. wished i was there. then nearing the end of the pictures, i noticed someone. a friend named sea yen.
wait a minute!
i was invited for that party!

fuck!

he had invited me but i was to be in kuantan for work... thus i missed out on seeing lotsa old friends and also a great party... oh well...

emil's wedding. found out about it the night before. would've loved to be there. yet it is all happening at the wrong time... congrats homes. and props for playing you'll never walk alone...

making new friends seems like a chore nowadays. back in the irc days, this was much easier... like :

me : hi
random person : asl?
me : preferably 18-21, yes please and i like to do it on water beds...

nowadays, it's tiring talking about yourself. to tell how downtrodden you have become since those heady high days... even though it is fun to hear about other new people. they never cease to amaze me...

i'm being pushed to be the dj/emcee for the batman begins roadshow this weelend in sunway pyramid. now being a bigger fan of batman than star wars, i really want this job...

have to go meet a new person now... will write more later... btw, lena's back though i'm not thrilled... don't know why... later...

word of the day...
alas

• exclamation literary or humorous; an expression of grief, pity, or concern.