turn the page goddamnit...

it's been a year... yup. one year since i started writing a blog. amazing i think. considering that i have no internet connection at home. i can't just get up and blog whenever i feel like it. quoting a friend's blog...

"i see mildew growing on the carpets of this blog, having been neglected for so long. ewwww. damp, dark spots... begone!!"
- alysia

true dat. i do take my time updating this blog. and sometimes i just ramble total nonsense. and i don't have nice pics on the blog to make ppl come back again and again... and i don't write mind blowing entries and make thoughtful comments on it(i try my best though) like rudy does on his blog.(this boy has certainly grown up to be more than i've imagined...)

and yet i trudge on... as mudster puts it, blarging on by...

having a nice conversation with a friend...

maviceplaytoy: i'll make ya smile...
maviceplaytoy: or at least i'll try my best..
ladyhugalot: hehe u always make me smile
ladyhugalot: hehe i wish i cud fit u in my pocket
ladyhugalot: so that i could bring you everywhere!
ladyhugalot: hehe
maviceplaytoy: LOL
maviceplaytoy: now that's the funniest thing i've heard in a while...
maviceplaytoy: it would fit amazingly in my resume...
maviceplaytoy: "able to fit in pocket, endless entertainment for all!!"

i would love to have that job... mmmm... breast pockets...

i think i'm imploding socially... like i'm reducing friends or even who i open up too... pushing ppl away.. cos everytime i get close to someone i find out something about them that i didn't want to know in the first place... then things get awkward..

i'll be doing some travelling soon. this weekend, friday, saturday and sunday i should be in bkt jambul penang for the celcom star wars promo. funny part is, i haven't seen star wars yet... yup. i have not seen star wars: revenge of the sith. do i not want to? nope! i really want to. but alas, being homeless, lack of cash and this sudden social imploding... oh well... maybe i'll go see it tonight...

btw, to those who don't know, i'm currently homeless now. staying at my moms and another at the moment... so if you have a place for me anywhere, get in touch ya?

now, could someone please turn the page goddamnit! later...

word of the day...
implode
/implod/

• verb collapse or cause to collapse violently inwards.

won't you please smile for me...

i wish that people wouldn't be so worried bout me... i hope it isn't pity...

i'll be ok.

i'm currently in the process of sacrifising lotsa things... things will get way better... i hope...

hung out with my old dear driend altaf the other day... this woman is amazing. i've known her for 16 years now and she never ceases to amaze me...

she works in the in a random ngo and has one foot in the un. she's been through amazing things and her stories just has me rooted to my spot... indonesia, uk, geneva, the kremlin... she's been places... she just finished her masters 2 years ago and lives a life that can be written into a book...

more on her later... important day tomorrow... wish me luck... gonna need it... later...

word of the day...
sacrifice

• noun
1 the practice or an act of killing an animal or person or surrendering a possession as an offering to a deity.
2 an animal, person, or object offered in this way.
3 an act of giving up something one values for the sake of something that is of greater importance.

• verb
offer or give up as a sacrifice.

you'll never walk alone...

i had to put that in. we're in the final of the champions league... ah it feels so good... liverpool.... *sigh*

got one of the most nicest testimonials in friendster from a friend recently, and part of it said :

sashi, you're a diamond in the rough; get polished & shine...

wow...

been meaning to come online and yet i always seem to push it to the next day. you know what my problem is? priorities. i don't have my priorities right. i seem to be planning and planning for every eventuality and yet when the day comes, i have not done what really should have mattered. i guess that's where i differ from others... why they are more successful... my lack of noticing the obvious... it was inevitable that i realised this problem... yet it took me so long...

my brother's wife gave birth to a baby boy on the 30th of april. funny thing is i only found out about it on the 3rd. my mom forgot to tell me. amazing since i was in the very hospital that my sister-in-law was admitted in on sunday. you just gotta love family...

i'm moving out of my current living arrangement by the middle of this month. where am i moving to? i have no idea! currently it's damansara perdana with my soon to be new colleagues... if things works out that way...
if anyone knows a place for rent which is affordable and quiet, get in touch please...

it seems that my friend tech has been getting himself into trouble with his views on the workings of a female mind... hell even i am still at large about it. but some of it do make sense.

"Loco: nowadays love itself doesn't exist."
- me quoting myself from tech's blog

love seems the last thing on anyone's mind nowadays. either it's money, stability, looks, social status etc.
* what happened to falling in love and sticking it out through thick and thin?
* what happened to you making me a better man?
* what happened to for better or worse till death do us part?

i was a hopeless romantic. note the keyword was. now i'm just like any average "playa"/"jerk"/"bastard" out there who's out for fun...

nowadays, if your relationship is on the rocks, you got out and got yourself a new partner. falling in love with more than 1 person is fine. if you got no money/job/social status, you're nobody and you're not worth my time...

i say bullshit.

when i grew up i wanted to fall in love forever.(i didn't know of such things called drama or divorce!) i wanted to meet my better half and she would make me a better man. if we had problems, we'd work it out. through thick and thin. if we were broke, we wouldn't mind, as long as we had each other. love conquered all...

when i grew up, the men were chivalrous and the women were breathtaking...

not so sure if anyone else shares my sentiment still...

is anyone with me?

word of the day...
chivalry

• noun
1 the medieval knightly system with its religious, moral, and social code.
2 the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honour, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.
3 courteous behaviour, especially that of a man towards women.