who am i to you...

i was just wondering today about the people i used to know or the girls that i liked and could've had something on with or the guys that i was close to, or even the people that i know now... who am i to you?

it should be easy to answer it as, you are my friend, but alas i prefer a more direct answer. more like,
you are the person that taught me hatred, or
you are someone i used to really like but i don't anymore...

so to those who read this, please answer my question cos i would really like to know, who am i to you...

somehow i dread the answers... later...

notepad blogging...

lotsa stuff happened since i last blogged. in fact its been exactly 1 week and three days since i last blogged. thats really long by my standards... wrote this blog on the notepad first, hence the title, for fear that the connection could crash or upload error or something...

added a couple more ppl on my link list. feel free to read what other perverted minds think of nowadays...

taylors inter college battle of the bands 2004
what an event that turned out to be... heard a lot of bands play, some were good, some not so good and i think the winner deserved it. funky dogs rocked the night. disco funk. thats how they wanted to refer to their music. my co-emcees debbie and isla did really well considering they had very little experience in emceeing. isla was really nervous but she soon got over it. debbie just jumped in and mc'd away... was proud of them. and if i forgot, thank you girls, for the q cards and the experience. was awesome... btw, i also featured in dragon red's performance that night so it was really tiring for me. and how i managed to go to nouvo and partied for a while, i don't know...
also like bumped into someone whom i would've really liked to have a conversation with, while rushing to the event... think she barely notices me for who i am, rather she sees who i seem to be, by name... *sigh*

smoke break.. i smoke too much me thinks...

finally got cash on thursday, after being super broke for a while... felt good...
wanna hear funny stupid stories? here goes...
stupid funny story 1 : monday, was broke and had like 3 bucks on me. friend calls up and said, hey i'm in pyramid, wanna come hang out? told her i was broke. she said she'll give me money for petrol. aight. got up and got ready, looked in my wallet to count my coins, had like two bucks more there. then i remembered, i used to hide money in my wallet to find it later, lo and behold, a crisp one hundred ringgit *gasp* note hidden in my wallet! and to think that i almost starved the day before cos i thought i had no money!!
stupid funny story 2 : monday night(same day) went to cafe flam to hang out with chin(the dj)... wanted to go to jimbo's place after that. hung out for a while till like 12.30 and then walked to the car. got to the car and found out that i didn't have my car keys. i was like sh*t! where my keys? then i noticed the keys hanging in the ignition in my locked *sic* car... sat down on the curb and laughed for like a good 5 minutes, and then called up jimbo who happens to be the guy who sold me the car in the first place. asked for a spare key. he said he might have it. called tech, told him bout it and he said he'd come over. went back to the club, much to chin's amusement and then jimbo called. he had a key that could be the one. tech picked it up and came to my rescue... now the spare key stays with me always!
the end...

got a call from my princess today, who proceeded to tell me how her bf broke up with her to go after a stewardess who doesn't even want him... now my question is why do people do stuff like this? how stupid can one be? leave someone amazing for someone you barely know? lie and cheat behind your better half's back? if it was not working, say so and walk away... if not stay and work at it. don't lie...
sorry, i just have this particular hatred for liars...
maybe thats why they refer to your bf/gf as your better half... my heart goes out to her... stay strong kitty...
(ed note : second such entry within a month)

been watching quite a number of movies lately... old ones... boys + girls, possesion, a walk to remember, the banger sisters, the perfect score, three kings, etc... got more to watch... maybe i should get someone to join me in my movie marathons.. anyone interested? later...

red hammer...

one of those random surveys... now how did they know that i'll think of a red hammer...

i'm melancholy...

a friend had a dream about me whereby i was a math teacher and i went to her house and taught her math in her room. apparently her mom didn't mind and we ended up doing other stuff instead. now my question is, what other stuff?

i'm still infatuated. yes that's what i'm feeling now. finally figured it out... infatuation is the mother of all f*ck ups... this is when i screw up, i say stupid things and everything goes down the drain...

i miss puppy...

wanted to say a lot of other things but seem to have hit a wall now... maybe should look at more porn or something... that should inspire me to write something...
ok fine. i'll admit it. i'm sexually deprived...

i know i've mentioned this before but on the 21st, that's this saturday, i'll be the mc for taylor's college battle of the bands 2004. will also feature in dragon reds' performance on that night so it should be interesting... if i'm not mistaken, its rm 3 cover charge...

i'm broke...

think you already know that one... news flash. think i'm in love. its lindsay lohan. don't ask me why but i just am. think she's awesome. do i sound teeny bopper yet? *lol*

joe's off to gen con indy tomorrow. flight leaves at 3 pm. using air india *cough* to fly to los angelas and then from there to indianapolis. wish him all the luck in the world. hope he has a good flight. if he meets lindsay there i'll kill him!

played in last sunday's wwe steel cage tourney. used undertaker instead of john cena whom i've been using for the last two or so weeks... got a few eyebrows raised... beat cristian in the first game, lost to b2p and lost to goldberg. *lol* bad huh? then discovered that i've squeezed into the top four and was up against b2p again. won that and then promptly lost the final to goldberg, again. oh well. getting the card "hitting the g-spot" was definitely worth it. considering i lost three times in the whole tourney...

haven't had much of a chance to follow the on-going olympics... i used to love the games. any sports. still do. i think i'm a compulsive sports spectator. of course in the comforts of my own home. on the couch. with the remote in my hand. *lol* whether its golf, snooker, f1, football, basketball, gymnastics, swimming, athletics, you name it i've sat down for hours watching it.
considering i don't have a tv in my place now, its time for different hobbies.

bitch mode on...

funny that. was in a good mood when i started writing this. now i'm not. was also reading a friends' blog. she's overseas and found out her father was cheating on her mom with a worker. i feel some old wounds resurfacing... later...

detachable penis...

it's actually a song by king misile from a long time ago if anyone even remembers. apparently i did...

a friend is a friend is a friend... i guess...

i got a call yesterday, from australia, from someone that i'm not too close to and yet i find that i'm growing quite fond of her, who described me like this on her blog...
quote
"also took pics with the cutest most adorable indian guy i have ever met- sashi kumar aka loco"
unquote
*lol* extremely flattering and yet flabbergasting at the same time... anyway, she was so sad that her bf had cheated on her and broke up with her even though he "loves" her... she said she felt stupid. i don't think she's stupid. even if she says that all the warning signs were there... i say she's just oblivious... she should be angry instead.
to that i said, if this guy can just throw someone away just like that, throw something that had time, money and emotion invested in just like that, he's not worth it. not one cent. not at all... some might not agree but that's what i think. if someone can't afford to put effort into making something work, they're not worth it. everyone deserves a second chance of course but it all always depends on the situation.

there... off my chest it goes...

on a lighter note, will be the mc for taylor's college battle of bands 2004 on the 21st. was at taylors college today and met with my two beautiful co mc's, debbie and isla... should be fun... will also feature with my brother's band dragon red. should be lotsa fun! later...

league of useless superheroes...

imagine you were a superhero, but with useless superpowers, for instance, the ability to read minds only when you're in the urinals(thx rudy) or spontaneous combustion man! with a one page issue... oh well... there's a few of us around.. i'm major droppings...

btw, tech's out of the hospital, not completely recovered but still out and cracking open magic booster packs!

i shaved my mustache off today, and god i look young! plus i never knew i had such a small mouth... pity i have no camera... birthday present anyone?
that leads me to the point whenever ppl go off far away for holiday, worktrip, etc and they ask me, what do you want ? what do i want? i want you to come back safely and bring me a "my friend went to *insert location here* and all he/she got me was this lousy t-shirt!" t-shirt! thats all i ask for.

i might have procured the services of an agent/manager for myself. she's currently waiting to see what happens to her current job. hope things go well. and i'm still waiting for the arrival of a financier for my single. started working on song number 4 the other day. using almo's production. no working titles yet. ideas anyone?

just joined the yahoo fantasy football thingie... evil banana's of malaysia... *lol* later...

and the headlines for today...

friend in hospital...
to those who don't know, tech is currently in the hospital for dengue... he was in the icu for a day plus and was transferred to a normal ward earlier today... if anyone wants to go visit, he's in ampang puteri medical centre, 4th flr, room 418. so if you were wondering why he hasn't updated his blog, now you know why...

visited the poor guy today, and he looked better than i thought he would. was just transferred to the normal ward from icu. i of course did not know that, just rushing from home after watching spiderman, paying my rent(it is the 7th!) and slight traffic jams here and there... went up the 2nd floor, got to the icu ward and bumped into another friend and her whole family literally camped out there... apparently her grandmother is in icu as well due to a stroke. what a morbid world... did i tell you that i hate hospitals? oh yeah. i hate hospitals! i freak out if i have to go to one, but i think i'm better at it now than i used to be... found out tech has been transferred so went up to the 4th floor. entered the room to find tech in bed wearing the marvel shirt, his two brothers, his sister and his father there, all watching this local english show. according to him, tengok awek... hung out till his father left, and his siblings as well(they wanted to watch the af concert)... we chatted till i left for the shop at around 9...
the guy looked absolutely bored... he's an outside kinda guy i guess... put him in a room all day and he goes crazy...

recap for bad day(06.08.2004)...
i had a bad day. its been a while since i've really let someone down. well on this day i did. were supposed to send someone somwhere but the traffic screwed me up so bad that we arrived really late. it was like missing the bus with no more tickets on sale... it was that bad. now i wonder when she'll stop being mad at me... then my car heated up on me, because of being in traffic so long under such a hot sun (my car's air conditioning is is lacking at the moment). had to wait till it cooled. wanted to go see tech who was hospitalized on this day and yet i was just so tired of driving, so i went to amcorp to just sit down and recover from my guilt...
today was also aina's birthday, and it so happened that she was down from dungun for the weekend. she also said, i'll meet up with you tonight ok? well at least i had something to look forward to to cheer me up. andrea called me up as well and said that she was down for the weekend... ok, two people that can me me feel better, right ? wrong. they both went missing and later on cancelled seeing me... was especially disappointed that i couldn't see aina, since i was looking forward to seeing her since i knew she was coming two weeks before... oh well... day ended on a mixed note though. hung out with the shop guys who went karaoke-ing that night. karaoke is not my thing... plus with a bad sore throat it was painful to try to sing anything. although, the group singing of ymca was quite fun. had a drink at the mamak and went home. shower was good...

sms from a friend today...
man... readin
yer blog makes
me go
dictionary.com
alot. cheers

sender:
fon png
+6016489****

sent:
7-aug-2004
15:53:27

*lol* later...

password recovery error...

stupid cyber cafe... had like a paragraph written down before the pc decided to freeze on me... freakin a! oh well, drafted today finished second/third amazingly... another draft tomorrow i guess...

lets reconstruct what i wanted to say...
you know how when u meet ppl and they're all the same and then you meet those one of a kinds whom you would really like to get close to, yet you fear that she'll see you as one of those normal ppl that she's used to? then when you do get a chance to be close and you open your mouth and all sorts of stupid things come out of your mouth becoz ur nervous around this person of intelligence and beauty... am i making sense ? how do you try to be yourself when you do not want to screw this one chance up? when you think that the true you moght not be good enough for this person. so you end up not calling her and she thinks you're just a flash in the pan. someone playing a fool... and who acts like an idiot... oh well... i'm rambling like a fool... if that person is reading this, i really do want to get to know you... and yes, you are quite show stopping... later...

in a crowd of thousands...

have u ever been in a crowd of thousands and still felt all alone?
have u ever been around the ppl u know and still couldn't relate?
have u ever known love all around and yet still didn't feel secure?
have u ever looked up in the sky and felt there's more to it that just fate?
thats how i feel now...

have u ever smiled at a stranger and felt utmost satisfaction?
have u ever gotten great hugs that u wish u don't have to let go?
have u ever been woken up by the sweetest kisses you've ever felt?
have u ever closed your eyes and just let the raindrops flow?
it is the little things that make me happy...

sashi kumar balakrishnan
03.08.2004 ♥

just felt like writing something... it's not tennyson, but it'll do right now... later...

miko soy milk, beli 3 percuma 3...

if anyone was at the karnival sure heboh tv3 in bkt jalil last weekend then you would understand the title... the torture of being a dj and mc for three consecutive days yelling the same thing over and over again is crazy... also made me lose my voice... am now recovering from a bad sore throat, an insane flu and tired legs... it was fun though, and also earned me the money to pay for my rent... currently in whiny manja mode and missing my mom immensely. if i had a gf then i'd miss her too but alas, am not so fortunate, or maybe unfortunate... lol... later...