ramblings of a fool...

wrote a poem with that title. now if only i could find my poetry book then i shall put em here...

been away from blogging due to work... one utama from sunday till thursday and then friday in bkt raja klang and then sat and sun was pre release in kl. 9 straight days of working can really get to you... stayed over in joe's place on sunday and last night.
*mental note* [never watch a liverpool game in joe's place]

i hate driving sometimes. actually most of the time. is it just me or do a majority of drivers just lack common sense? i know even i am guilty of bad driving once in a awhile, but at least i try not to get in the way of others. if i'm gonna break the law like make an illegal u turn or sumthin like that, i try to make sure that i don't cause others trouble. and yet everyone else seems to be driving with only them in their minds. the malaysian mentality. kiasu driving. tech wrote about this as well sometime before. i just had to say it again.

had a lot of catching up to do when i finally came back online. reading blogs, friendster bulletins, emails, messages etc.

lemme tell you about a f*cked up cyber cafe in amcorp mall. its on the third floor and if you're in the area and wanna go online, don't bother. they charge rm3 per hour and the connection is so slow my late grandfather can run faster. the pc's are obsolete and they tend to hang now and then. the connection is also jerky. ah... enuff bitching. anyway...

when i was working in one utama, since it was so boring, made friends with 2 ladies working in one of the boutique near my console. i'd let 3 songs run and go hang with them. then back and talk some shit on the mic and back to them. if it wasn't for them i don't know how i would've survived 4 days of total boredom.

how do you flirt with a married woman? you don't. but i still did. why you ask? cos i found her intriguing. and she was real pretty. and she was intelligent. and she was not lan si... not easy to find one of those nowadays... been talking to her on the phone on and off and its been like a rose blooming. she says she is an open book. i'm not so sure. and yet reading her is a pleasure...

am i an open book? i tend to tell people anything they wanna know, if they bother to ask. but do they really know me? like do they know my pattern of thought? i think my pattern of thought is unique. weird too.

lin ming : locs, what are you gonna do in like a few years time? you can't be doing this dj thing all the time...
locs : don't ask me a question i don't have the answer to.
lin ming : i'm sorry...
locs : don't be, its just that if i think back too much or think forward too much i get depressed. so i live in the present...

is that the right thing to do? immerse yourself in the present? lets go thru my life in short sentences...

- grew up in a family that moved a lot...
- was quite the loner, not many close friends...
- joined college and finished a diploma and then tried to finish the advanced diploma. didn't manage to though. quit when my 4 years ran out...
- enjoyed an amazing time and the whole world noticed me when i joined poetic ammo...
- money was good, the women were great...
- successfully unsuccessful when it came to relationships...
- end of an era, left ammo(more like kicked out) in 2001...
- owned a magic shop for like a year and half. won a tournament and sold it off when the workload became too much...
- been bumming around for like 3 years since with no visible future plans... just music i guess...
- started getting involved in the broadcast dj/mc line.

now do you blame me for living just in the present?
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just bumped into amy online, my ex-gf who's in perth. she's such a sweetheart...

watever you want says:
dearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
[]mavice playtoy[] says:
*looks up*
watever you want says:
dun be like this!!
[]mavice playtoy[] says:
how ?
watever you want says:
like this.. dun be like this.. i dun kno how to react
watever you want says:
i was just saying to ad the last time i talked to him, tht every year i see you and you just look smaller and smaller...
watever you want says:
i mean like so weighed down...
watever you want says:
this is not good, you have to know that ya *-)
watever you want says:
this is wat i mean about being worried about you

*you can take my breath away ...*
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read this off a bulletin :
Me : Why are we then constantly unhappy?
God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.
Me : But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

how i wish it was that easy... think i've rambled enough today... later...