dearest fallen star...

it's been awhile since i have fallen, and it has been awhile since i have wanted to move mountains for you. and yet i know you're there. not far away but not close enough either i guess. i wish i knew where or how to get myself closer to you. i wish i knew the moment i see you that that is you. i long for you...

i long for days when i wake up and feel you beside me. when i open my eyes and i see your angelic face sleeping beside me. when i lean over to kiss you and you smile in your sleep. when i say i love you and you mouth your "i love you too" back to me in your dreams. when i just look at you and marvel at your exsistence. how someone like you could be so much more than i have imagined. that i could dream of. that i could fathom. i long for you...

a smile is all i can give you now. not knowing where you would appear from next is an exquisite pain like no other. who would you be? how would we meet? what would we say? will you like me straight away? and would i know that you are and will be what i have always wanted? i could go on with these questions, wondering what may be. and i take my next step as always. moving on, not knowing always wondering. i long for you...

you used to be my all. without you i was nothing. i lived my life for you. to be with you. to know you. to encompass you. to liberate myself through you. i willed myself an identity through you. my bad. and when you left i crumbled. i fell down. i cried. i broke down. i lost hope. i lost my dreams. i lost myself. promised myself that that would never happen again. ever. forever. and yet, alas. as always. i still do. though now i give myself away lesser and lesser. until i have none of myself to give you. until you give me back what belongs to me. my life. my heart. my soul. i long for you...

last seen...

getting drunk in langkawi... *smiles*

i've had 2 different island holidays this year. amazing year it has been so far in the traveling sense i must say... here's 2 reasons why...

- never been to india and off i went in april
- never had and island vacation and now i had been to 2

last weekend was langkawi and it was 4 days of fun and being mind-blasted with alcohol... though i must say adam and kamarul being bitten by the jellyfish and them staying in hospital langkawi holiday resort for one day definitely took the shine off the trip a bit. me? i was relishing in rm9.60 6 cans of carlsbergs and the tequila bottle that made me smile...

was supposed to meet up with a friend who stays there but lo and behold, she had a sudden conference to handle that took up all her time for 4 whole freakin days. *sighs*

plus my ex has this bad habit of calling me and picking a fight with me when i am so far away... why do girls do that anyway? what she says to me cannot be acted upon till i get back. haiz... somehow i am glad to be single (the loneliness hasn't hit me yet... as girls are throwing themselves at me at the moment)

finished my verse for psychomantra and 21 soulblaze yet i almost lost my voice in langkawi. so recording is not anytime soon. writing in tamil was not easy. though sitting in front of a beautiful beachfront got my creative juices flowing....



this is the reason why the resort we were staying at was called sunset beach resort... the sunset was breathtaking....

and the only pussy action i got over there was..



she was adorable... *smiles* all in all was a good trip. hanging out with my brother is all cool. he ain't heavy numsayin...

blogs i am following...

was a link on my blogger page...

lately i've been randomly being forwarded to random blogs here and there... reading them i realise a sense of familiarity about the writers. and then i realise that i knew them personally and had no idea that they had blogs... one of em was elfie... and the other was vick...

so many ppl have blogs now it is not funny...

i am single now. as some have already known. my successfully unsuccessfull attempts at relationships are getting tiring now. those who knew my ex, know that this was my longest relationship. 3 years. might not be long to you but was freakin long to me...

i felt domesticated with her. i was content. apparently she wasn't. she wanted more... hence the break...

*sigh*

i've been randomly following political stuff as well. irks me how racist some malaysians are...

i am a malaysian... prove me wrong...

lately i have been approached by 4 different artiste to feature/perform on their tracks and the worse thing possible happened... i got sick... for a whole week. am still coughing...

21 soulblaze - hip hop maestro from sg who looked me up on facebook and passed me the music for the collabo. i love the production and i think his voice suits the track to a t. alas i couldn't meet up with him when he as was here as i was still sick..

rabbit - tamil underground hip hopper with a cult following. havent gotten the music from him yet...

pschycomantra - i have to write 16 bars of tamil rap to this... all the best to me!

nitro - he's changed his name but the track he sent me is different. so different i'm having a difficult time getting a good flow on....

will post updates on the songs later...

because i love you...

next in line for a song... *smiles*

last week was probably my "let's go out tonight" week. as in to events that i would like to see. first event was the x gig in sunway borneo. hip hop gig in the afternoon. free. top acts performing. joe flizzow, klg, phlowtron, rebel scum n altimet. all top name sin the field. with successful albums and hit songs. and how was the turn out?

bad...

i am not sure whether i should be sad, surprised or disappointed... now back in the days, gigs used to be "the" thing. the place to be. where you could meet with that artiste that you've heard about, heard his/her/their songs and would like to see performing live. and yet here i was at this gig where more than half the attendees were friends of the performers...

next event. vandal's event at cloth & clef. now as a lover of the music, this is a kind of event i would like to go to. in malaysia. and yet again, the crowd failed to materialize... the emcee battle was between 2 ppl. although i was hoping to catch 10 emcees. only good thing was the beers made up for it i guess...

so what is the in thing nowadays among our youths who love hip hop? where do they go? because i am pretty sure they are a hell of a lot more than the amount i saw the other day.

so what do they do? where are they? hanging out in shopping malls? can't afford the fare here? public transportation woes?

so i went to mos(euphoria) on thurs. the first non smoking club in malaysia.(if i am not mistaken) looked like the old arena to me. though the kids that were there wouldn't know since they were not old enuff to have been in the old club...

but the girls were pretty hot...

so maybe here was where the youths of nowadays are at. the clubs... what has the world come to....

featuring...

right now seems to be an exciting time to be me... 3 songs that i've featured in is in the charts and performing well...

wicked queen - dragon red featuring c.loco
- click here to vote for the song on MET10.
- click here to watch the video.
- a song that i featured with on dragon red's debut album "holocaust" is now seeing good airplay and coverage...

oh baby - anbarasan and anuratha featuring c.loco
- click here to go to their website.
- click here to vote chart position on THR Raaga.
- a song that i featured on last year and has taken off since their album release earlier this year...

gonna be alright(remix) - iz oiam featuring c.loco
- click here to visit his website.

plus my performance at seventeen magazines summer splash was crazily amazing, or amazingly crazy... if you were there you'd understand...

up on stage again...

something about this picture just blows my mind...



maybe the fact that i performed in front of 17000 people. one of my milestones. i haven't been on stage much lately. not since india...



india itself being another crazy random things that keep happening to my life... back to the summer splash, with tech, my dance2visible crew and b-boy lilv6 on stage with me, i rocked sunway lagoon! i had the crowd screaming and singing along. i had the crowd jumping and dancing and swaying. oh how i miss this. photos of the show will be posted up later as well as videos of the event. photos will be courtesy of yana my photographer and the video was take by dearmissweird... will keep ya'll updated.

my next single is about 40% done. and i've decided to release all my previous singles for free online. as a malaysian music artiste, the money is almost never at album sales. unless your name is mawi, siti or etc.... so my target now has changed. its one single every 2-3 months now. so single number 4 from my future release album "*secret*" is scheduled for september.

india was another random success. performing in front of 5000 chennai "makkal" was a dream come true. it made me know that nothing is impossible. i've now performed in 6 different countries worldwide including malaysia.

petrol price increase is annoying... later...

8 months since...

i last wrote something on this blog...

coming back soon...

deemed unfriendly...

just a random blog title.

a friend of mine asked me my blog address today...

michelle koh : hey locs....whats ur blog add? wanna link u to my blog
maviceplaytoy : playtoymansion.blogspot.com
maviceplaytoy : though i rarely write nowadays
michelle koh : hehehe
michelle koh : its cool
michelle koh : ok done
michelle koh : hehehe linked u now

and i'm like... whats your blog address? *smiles* considering i barery write nowadays, ppl still look me up. lol. since everytime i come online nowadays, it's either to change my yff team or to play dota, which i seem to be addicted to.

* i'll be going to bangkok late next month. something i'm looking forward to actually. must go adventuring... this would be my second trip there...
* in november, i'll be going down to singapore for a show in one of the happening clubs down there. will keep y'all updated.
* i'm still staying in the same place since more than a year now. going home nowadays seems nice...
* if someone knows where to find the whole front end of a mitsubishi cordia, keep me informed ya?
* another friend just opened up a studio the other day. very nice place...
* i need a new song out...

later...

and now...

ladies & gentleman....

since no one comes to this blog anymore, i guess i can write out all my secrets and no one will know better. *smiles*

been three months since i last wrote something, and its been 8 months plus since i last smoked. i guess i'm off it for good.

and the world looks bright and shiny...

i am looking forward to this week. why you ask? cos it holds lotsa promises for the future. plus at the weekend i'll be working for the transformers fair at cineleisure damansara. if you see me, say hi.

was at the vandal album launch last friday. nice to see an independent artiste holding that much respect here in malaysia. i hope the fact that he is not malaysian did not affect the level of respect. personally for me, i give props where props is due. that dude can freestyle his way from here to all over the world. on and on and on. thats why i have both his albums. restecpa!

i wonder if i had an album launch, would the big names in the industry show up. would ppl wanna see what i am up to? would get that kind of respect? also more like do i deserve such accolades? lolz...

who comes to this blog anymore? drop some hints pls...