definition of an off-tangent manic...

de•pressed /dprest/ adj.

1 very sad and without hope: She felt very depressed about the future.
2 suffering from the medical condition of depression
3 (of a place or an industry) without enough economic activity or employment: an attempt to bring jobs to depressed areas
4 having a lower amount or level than usual: depressed rates / prices

yup... i totally agree... very sad and without hope... and how bout that economic reference... i am totally broke..


broke /brk; AmE brok/ adj.

[not before noun] (informal) having no money: I'm always broke by the end of the month. During the recession thousands of small businesses went broke (= had to stop doing business). flat / stony broke (= completely broke)—see also break

just paints a picture of a thousand words... all i want for christmas is "a way to earn constant cash on a monthly basis."
and then there are ppl who say i should get a proper job. like what? i'm not qualified for anything... i've tried...
random note : there's this random chinese guy listening to old 80's music a few pc's away! crush on you is playing now... *impressed!*

not forgetting that i'm feeling lonely as well...


lone•some /lnsm; AmE lon-/ adj. (especially AmE)

1 unhappy because you are alone and do not want to be or because you have no friends: I felt so lonesome after he left.
2 (of a place) where not many people go; a long way from where people live: a lonesome road note at alone

don't get me wrong... it's not human contact i'm lacking. or female contact. or physical contact(*smiles*)... it's just someone to hold me when i least expect it. or someone to kiss me. it has been a while since someone kissed me instead of me kissing them... or someone to tell me it'll all be ok... that somehow i'll manage... and that i'll survive... that i'll be somebody again someday. to have someone to believe in you is an amazing feeling... just that i can't trust anyone anymore...

off-tangent rant:
why am i doing a single and not an album? cos i can't afford an album... why am i doing it in the first place? because it's the only thing i know how to do? am i trying to prove myself to anyone?

no

i'm doing this because i want to. because i know i can. because i have something to share with ppl out there and this my only fast closing window...

fuck it... if life's a bitch, i wish i can fuck her...

to end this really bad entry, lemme flick a paragraph from a friend's blog...

"get a grip.........

ps: if anyone reads this, and starts worrying.... please do not call me..... the last thing i can handle right now is like ten thousand (slight exaggeration here) phone calls , asking if i have lost it... or if i'm ok....

i willllll persevere..... (sashi[that's me!] comes to mind as i type those three words)
after all, i have been through worse.... or as bad as this before and survived....
i am after all... nothing short of a "champion" ;)"

later...