playtoy mansion

the power(magically created) of bloggers.

2010-09-29T21:25:00.002+08:00

well since the last time i went away and came back, from blogging that is, and since i started blogging, we have come a long way. bloggers and blogging i mean. now we are the critics that are listened to and reviewers of places and restaurants. and where did we get this power over the establishment? and don't get me started on political blogging. apparently that caused the whole election turnaround.

so who reads these bloggers? do you? i don't. even though some are my friends. i go look at pictures. and the ads on their pages? who clicks on them?

someone told me it's a self supported community. every blogger visits the other bloggers everyday and clicks on ads. therefore if everyone does this to every other blogger, it becomes self sustaining. sounds logical but i don't know how true it is. what do you think?

the return of the crazy one...

2010-07-13T17:09:00.000+08:00

And thus I have returned. Where from you ask? From oblivion of course. Isn't is obvious? I strive reinvent myself yet I always return to the person I am before.

Oh I'm also back from the US. Was in LA for three months. Told myself I will blog from there but nooooo.... I was in a form of bliss that writing was not my frame of mind. Though I learnt a lot from being there. For instance:

- it's next to impossible to find a simple photo shop in the US.
- buses have an accurate schedule which are available to the public so it's easy to plan your trip.
- only white people can be racist. Weird but true. More on this later.
- LA is incredibly handicapped friendly.
- to cross a road you use your legs and energy to do it. To stop for a pedestrian requires a push of your right leg on the brakes. Which one is harder?
- always smile and say hello and give everyone a benefit of doubt.
- the cold is annoying and the sun sucks in summer.
- being online is a necessity.

I'm sure I learnt more but can't seem to think of them now. When they come I shall elaborate.

I am blogging from my phone. I love my BB. Till next, be safe.

and then there was one...

2010-03-11T22:32:00.001+08:00

like seriously, who wants to read blogs anymore.(mine anyway) twitter n vlogs rule the world. oh and serious celebrity bloggers.

my star read my entire blog in a day and said "i see how lonely you are from your blog entries."

*nods*

she also said "write somemore. i'm addicted to reading your writing."

hence here i am.

btw i am using a new keyboard today. cos my old one up and died on me. literally. and just like natalie tran i am wondering what the scroll lock key does. and when is it actually the best time to use your caps lock button. cos i press down on shift all the time.

i should add pictures. next post then. that one will be either from LA or the day before i fly off. and yes i said LA. how am i going there? by the virtue of randomly being at the right place at the right time and knowing the right people. the story of my life.

more to come...

dearest fallen star...

2008-11-13T21:00:00.006+08:00

it's been awhile since i have fallen, and it has been awhile since i have wanted to move mountains for you. and yet i know you're there. not far away but not close enough either i guess. i wish i knew where or how to get myself closer to you. i wish i knew the moment i see you that that is you. i long for you...

i long for days when i wake up and feel you beside me. when i open my eyes and i see your angelic face sleeping beside me. when i lean over to kiss you and you smile in your sleep. when i say i love you and you mouth your "i love you too" back to me in your dreams. when i just look at you and marvel at your exsistence. how someone like you could be so much more than i have imagined. that i could dream of. that i could fathom. i long for you...

a smile is all i can give you now. not knowing where you would appear from next is an exquisite pain like no other. who would you be? how would we meet? what would we say? will you like me straight away? and would i know that you are and will be what i have always wanted? i could go on with these questions, wondering what may be. and i take my next step as always. moving on, not knowing always wondering. i long for you...

you used to be my all. without you i was nothing. i lived my life for you. to be with you. to know you. to encompass you. to liberate myself through you. i willed myself an identity through you. my bad. and when you left i crumbled. i fell down. i cried. i broke down. i lost hope. i lost my dreams. i lost myself. promised myself that that would never happen again. ever. forever. and yet, alas. as always. i still do. though now i give myself away lesser and lesser. until i have none of myself to give you. until you give me back what belongs to me. my life. my heart. my soul. i long for you...

last seen...

2008-11-12T05:23:00.004+08:00

getting drunk in langkawi... *smiles*

i've had 2 different island holidays this year. amazing year it has been so far in the traveling sense i must say... here's 2 reasons why...

- never been to india and off i went in april
- never had and island vacation and now i had been to 2

last weekend was langkawi and it was 4 days of fun and being mind-blasted with alcohol... though i must say adam and kamarul being bitten by the jellyfish and them staying in hospital langkawi holiday resort for one day definitely took the shine off the trip a bit. me? i was relishing in rm9.60 6 cans of carlsbergs and the tequila bottle that made me smile...

was supposed to meet up with a friend who stays there but lo and behold, she had a sudden conference to handle that took up all her time for 4 whole freakin days. *sighs*

plus my ex has this bad habit of calling me and picking a fight with me when i am so far away... why do girls do that anyway? what she says to me cannot be acted upon till i get back. haiz... somehow i am glad to be single (the loneliness hasn't hit me yet... as girls are throwing themselves at me at the moment)

finished my verse for psychomantra and 21 soulblaze yet i almost lost my voice in langkawi. so recording is not anytime soon. writing in tamil was not easy. though sitting in front of a beautiful beachfront got my creative juices flowing....

this is the reason why the resort we were staying at was called sunset beach resort... the sunset was breathtaking....

and the only pussy action i got over there was..

she was adorable... *smiles* all in all was a good trip. hanging out with my brother is all cool. he ain't heavy numsayin...

blogs i am following...

2008-10-02T20:29:00.002+08:00

was a link on my blogger page...

lately i've been randomly being forwarded to random blogs here and there... reading them i realise a sense of familiarity about the writers. and then i realise that i knew them personally and had no idea that they had blogs... one of em was elfie... and the other was vick...

so many ppl have blogs now it is not funny...

i am single now. as some have already known. my successfully unsuccessfull attempts at relationships are getting tiring now. those who knew my ex, know that this was my longest relationship. 3 years. might not be long to you but was freakin long to me...

i felt domesticated with her. i was content. apparently she wasn't. she wanted more... hence the break...

*sigh*

i've been randomly following political stuff as well. irks me how racist some malaysians are...

i am a malaysian... prove me wrong...

lately i have been approached by 4 different artiste to feature/perform on their tracks and the worse thing possible happened... i got sick... for a whole week. am still coughing...

21 soulblaze - hip hop maestro from sg who looked me up on facebook and passed me the music for the collabo. i love the production and i think his voice suits the track to a t. alas i couldn't meet up with him when he as was here as i was still sick..

rabbit - tamil underground hip hopper with a cult following. havent gotten the music from him yet...

pschycomantra - i have to write 16 bars of tamil rap to this... all the best to me!

nitro - he's changed his name but the track he sent me is different. so different i'm having a difficult time getting a good flow on....

will post updates on the songs later...

because i love you...

2008-08-22T02:37:00.002+08:00

next in line for a song... *smiles*

last week was probably my "let's go out tonight" week. as in to events that i would like to see. first event was the x gig in sunway borneo. hip hop gig in the afternoon. free. top acts performing. joe flizzow, klg, phlowtron, rebel scum n altimet. all top name sin the field. with successful albums and hit songs. and how was the turn out?

bad...

i am not sure whether i should be sad, surprised or disappointed... now back in the days, gigs used to be "the" thing. the place to be. where you could meet with that artiste that you've heard about, heard his/her/their songs and would like to see performing live. and yet here i was at this gig where more than half the attendees were friends of the performers...

next event. vandal's event at cloth & clef. now as a lover of the music, this is a kind of event i would like to go to. in malaysia. and yet again, the crowd failed to materialize... the emcee battle was between 2 ppl. although i was hoping to catch 10 emcees. only good thing was the beers made up for it i guess...

so what is the in thing nowadays among our youths who love hip hop? where do they go? because i am pretty sure they are a hell of a lot more than the amount i saw the other day.

so what do they do? where are they? hanging out in shopping malls? can't afford the fare here? public transportation woes?

so i went to mos(euphoria) on thurs. the first non smoking club in malaysia.(if i am not mistaken) looked like the old arena to me. though the kids that were there wouldn't know since they were not old enuff to have been in the old club...

but the girls were pretty hot...

so maybe here was where the youths of nowadays are at. the clubs... what has the world come to....

featuring...

2008-07-06T22:58:00.001+08:00

right now seems to be an exciting time to be me... 3 songs that i've featured in is in the charts and performing well...

wicked queen - dragon red featuring c.loco
- click here to vote for the song on MET10.
- click here to watch the video.
- a song that i featured with on dragon red's debut album "holocaust" is now seeing good airplay and coverage...

oh baby - anbarasan and anuratha featuring c.loco
- click here to go to their website.
- click here to vote chart position on THR Raaga.
- a song that i featured on last year and has taken off since their album release earlier this year...

gonna be alright(remix) - iz oiam featuring c.loco
- click here to visit his website.

plus my performance at seventeen magazines summer splash was crazily amazing, or amazingly crazy... if you were there you'd understand...

up on stage again...

2008-06-09T05:18:00.004+08:00

something about this picture just blows my mind...

maybe the fact that i performed in front of 17000 people. one of my milestones. i haven't been on stage much lately. not since india...

india itself being another crazy random things that keep happening to my life... back to the summer splash, with tech, my dance2visible crew and b-boy lilv6 on stage with me, i rocked sunway lagoon! i had the crowd screaming and singing along. i had the crowd jumping and dancing and swaying. oh how i miss this. photos of the show will be posted up later as well as videos of the event. photos will be courtesy of yana my photographer and the video was take by dearmissweird... will keep ya'll updated.

my next single is about 40% done. and i've decided to release all my previous singles for free online. as a malaysian music artiste, the money is almost never at album sales. unless your name is mawi, siti or etc.... so my target now has changed. its one single every 2-3 months now. so single number 4 from my future release album "*secret*" is scheduled for september.

india was another random success. performing in front of 5000 chennai "makkal" was a dream come true. it made me know that nothing is impossible. i've now performed in 6 different countries worldwide including malaysia.

petrol price increase is annoying... later...

8 months since...

2008-05-07T17:57:00.001+08:00

i last wrote something on this blog...

coming back soon...

deemed unfriendly...

2007-09-26T21:00:00.000+08:00

just a random blog title.

a friend of mine asked me my blog address today...

michelle koh : hey locs....whats ur blog add? wanna link u to my blog
maviceplaytoy : playtoymansion.blogspot.com
maviceplaytoy : though i rarely write nowadays
michelle koh : hehehe
michelle koh : its cool
michelle koh : ok done
michelle koh : hehehe linked u now

and i'm like... whats your blog address? *smiles* considering i barery write nowadays, ppl still look me up. lol. since everytime i come online nowadays, it's either to change my yff team or to play dota, which i seem to be addicted to.

* i'll be going to bangkok late next month. something i'm looking forward to actually. must go adventuring... this would be my second trip there...
* in november, i'll be going down to singapore for a show in one of the happening clubs down there. will keep y'all updated.
* i'm still staying in the same place since more than a year now. going home nowadays seems nice...
* if someone knows where to find the whole front end of a mitsubishi cordia, keep me informed ya?
* another friend just opened up a studio the other day. very nice place...
* i need a new song out...

later...

and now...

2007-09-14T18:20:00.000+08:00

ladies & gentleman....

since no one comes to this blog anymore, i guess i can write out all my secrets and no one will know better. *smiles*

been three months since i last wrote something, and its been 8 months plus since i last smoked. i guess i'm off it for good.

and the world looks bright and shiny...

2007-06-18T01:47:00.000+08:00

i am looking forward to this week. why you ask? cos it holds lotsa promises for the future. plus at the weekend i'll be working for the transformers fair at cineleisure damansara. if you see me, say hi.

was at the vandal album launch last friday. nice to see an independent artiste holding that much respect here in malaysia. i hope the fact that he is not malaysian did not affect the level of respect. personally for me, i give props where props is due. that dude can freestyle his way from here to all over the world. on and on and on. thats why i have both his albums. restecpa!

i wonder if i had an album launch, would the big names in the industry show up. would ppl wanna see what i am up to? would get that kind of respect? also more like do i deserve such accolades? lolz...

who comes to this blog anymore? drop some hints pls...

and when i read back...

2007-06-11T19:30:00.000+08:00

i have come along way. *smiles*

i once told tech, "stick with me and i'll take you places!".

as we sat down after meeting afdlin shauki for the sumolah meeting earlier this year, he reminded me of my one liner. guess it'll be on my tombstone.

have put together the channel [v] amp site. go check it out. click here!

a youtube video of my performance during the sumolah premiere...

waiting for my new producer to be free so i can start finishing my future hit songs... lol...

btw, today is 5 months and 11 days since i quit smoking. late'a...

athens baby!

2007-05-02T18:51:00.000+08:00

mourinho can suck my balls!!

no really, he can!

and his comments that the better team lost? ppfffttt!!! *smiles*

athens, here we come...

oh and my new housemates just moved in yesterday. a bit easier on the pockets... and afdlin asked me to come up with something for his new movie brave/berani. he called all the way from bangkok too. *smiles* now, time to find my muse... you interested?

the evolution...

2007-05-02T18:08:00.000+08:00

evolution of my handheld mobile phones has been a slow one. but unlike normal handphone users who tend to change ever so often, i tend to make big leaps every now and then. even that was a bit random. this, was my first handphone.

a motorola flare. courtesy of my sister who had gotten herself a new phone. this phone was amazing. you could throw it off a 5th floor balcony and it would survive the fall to make calls another day. i had it for a few years.

then the flare was having problems with the battery and also that small issue of the phone having trouble staying in one piece... (guess i have dropped em one too many times.) so i was on the lookout for a cheap but useful phone. (mind you in those days, 3g wasn't even coined yet!) so thx to my dear aishah, i bought this phone off her for like rm 300 and a few kisses. *smiles* i love this phone btw, practicality in its best. alcatel one touch.

once ammo was in its prime, sponsors rolled in. one of em was digi, who also gave us handphones as part of the "appear in the advertistment" deal. it was this phone. the nokia 8210. at that time, it was the phone to have. practical and small. now i saw someone buy it for rm60. then when the phone died on me after 2 years, i loved this phone so much, i got another one identical to it. that lasted another 2 years.

my darling of a sister, who works for mas was in the uk when she decided to buy me a phone. and this is what she got me. the nec 338. the bad part about having a phone that no one else has in this country is that when your batt dies, you can't borrow a charger, as what happened to me last year. my charger died! and i was borrowing a phone for 3 months till my sister got me another charger from, lo and behold, australia! and finally, when this phones camera died and the phone was starting to fail me, i could finally afford this.

the nokia n73. i am in love.

pleasantly surprised...

2007-04-29T13:21:00.000+08:00

yes i was.

as i sat down to watch AIM 14, after the intro performance by m. nasir, i suddenly heard the intro to VVIP, the song i did for afdlin shauki. he used it as his entrance song because he was hosting the event. it was also a good suprise to see dragon red win best new english artiste. i think my brother is the only guy to have won the same award with 2 different bands. *smiles*

This is a picture of gambeats at the kanye west concert. from left is sarina, joe, tech, me and coery. t'was fun...

prototype b...

2007-04-26T15:15:00.000+08:00

random project name...

just performed yesterday for Spiderman 3's premiere. performed sumolah's song VVIP and got a nice response from the crowd. after that watched the movie. liked it... i'll give it a 3.5/5...

next show is SUMOlah premiere on the 7th... *smiles*

who dat kid on the microphone?

2007-04-23T18:39:00.000+08:00

random podcast - click here!

just added my first pic on this blog! wow... i am so amazed... that's me in the studio recording for Sumolah underscore.

to those who have been reading this blog, and have been wanting to watch me perform, i will be performing at the Spiderman 3 premiere in One Utama this wednesday and also for the Sumolah premiere on the 7th of may.

the reason why i am performing for these events are because 2 of my songs, V.V.I.P. and Legend of Boo are in the underscore of the movie. i am still amazed that afdlin called me personally early last year for this and then when we were recording the song early this year it was still mind blowing.

i am refreshed... be in touch ladies and gentleman... please do...

guess who's back! (one more time)

2007-04-15T01:28:00.000+08:00

guess it's time for a me to make a come back. *smiles* again.

not on a basic level but on a crazy level. on a level unheard of. to make myself known as who i am supposed to be.

just so that people know that i never went away in the first place.

that it took me 5 years to get back on my feet. 5 years of figuring out how do i get up from falling down. more like pushed down, though no one seems to see it that way. that my dreams were fullfilled, and then taken away. and i had to sacrifice to get back to a level of control. to be able to stand again. it's such a great feeling.

if you're reading this and saying, "but locs, you've said this countless times before! i am happy for you but what are you gonna do now to expand yourself?

by being less of a procrastinate?
by spending copious amounts money that you don't have?
by finally finding that priority focus that you have been missing?

the answer my friend, is blowing in the wind... *smiles* i've had it all along... now i know.

once i told a friend that life itself should be lived in moments. moments of briliance. moments of wonder. moments of romance. moments of decisions that can't be looked back upon with regret. that is what i seem to have forgot, in the pursuit to regain what i have lost. it's back to my saying that i used to use. one day at a time. with a wonderful twist. be in touch ladies and gentleman.... please do...

comeback king...

2007-02-04T18:57:00.000+08:00

cody is back, albeit not as complete as he was before, i am extremely excited that he is back. this also means more costing is to be incurred getting him back to his original/better state.

to those who have no idea what i am talking about, cody is batmobile. my car. took it out of the workshop on friday... looks shody, road tax expired, needs a complete paint job, left front lights and back bumper remodification. *smiles* definitely worth it!

lets point out some obvious points to ponder... :-
* this blog is dying. because i wonder who reads em anymore? besides a faithful few....
* my friend zabrina won amazing race asia. way to go girl!
* my third single has been getting amazing reviews..

mmm... mind blanks on me... be back later...

one more time!

2007-01-04T14:02:00.000+08:00

more conversation pieces to kick off my blog entry...

tech supreme : so dude, this is the third time since i've known you that you've quit smoking.
maviceplaytoy : actually it's my fifth time...
tech supreme : and you start back smoking everytime. so why do you do it?
maviceplaytoy : once a year dude. i gotta try, numsayin?
maviceplaytoy : it's a promise i made to myself...
tech supremo : i gotta respect that.

yeah, quit smoking again... it's my fifth try in like 4 years. let us recap.

try no 1 - (late 2002)lasted 2 days
try no 2 - (mid 2003) lasted 3 days
try no 3 - (dec 23 2004) lasted 5 months and 21 days
try no 4 - (feb 21 2006) lasted 27 days
try no 5 - (jan 1 2007) so far it's day 4... *smiles*

let's hope i can keep this up. oh and happy 2007 everyone! late'a...

right back at cha...

2006-12-28T15:04:00.000+08:00

*smiles*

random girl : u look good in ur CLEO bachelor pic btw
maviceplaytoy : LOL
random girl : haha
maviceplaytoy : that was years ago dear
random girl : doesnt matter...its still u what?
maviceplaytoy : true
maviceplaytoy : but me older and fatter
random girl : alaaa u niee, u still good lookin till now
maviceplaytoy : hahhaahahah
maviceplaytoy : ok ok
maviceplaytoy : thank you dear
maviceplaytoy : i'm flattered
maviceplaytoy : you're not so bad yourself...

it's the small things that make you smile everyday... now if i keep repeating that in my head, i might be able to carry on...

-------------------------------------------------

i'm a man of routine... i like the whole waking up in the morning, sending my girl to work, coming back and stopping for breakfast. read the star newspaper and going back home... kinda reminds me how i used to send my mom to work when i was younger...
or the fact that i have used the same prepaid number since i started using prepaids...

it's when the routine becomes endangered that i become lost... i admit that i am still one of those old school kinda person who resists change no matter what. even if i know it's good for me, better things will follow suit from the said change, yet i grab hold of what i know best and refuse to let go.

i am detrimental to my own well being... somebody hold me please...

and i'm back...

2006-12-27T15:23:00.000+08:00

it is definitely weird... i used to be alone so much when i was younger, and i was used to it.

now that i am older and not so alone anymore, i fear the loneliness that is about to set in...

*sigh*

on to more upbeat, albeit sunshine posts...

passed my single to kudsia kahar yesterday and weirdly enough she wants to play it this sunday!! so if you guys are listening to the radio around 12 on sunday, its on era and on a show called baru di era...

yay...

and weirdly enough, i managed to get invited to perform in cineleisure on the 31st, around 2-3 pm. not confirmed yet though...

the song everytime plays in my head again... later...

lack of posts...

2006-12-19T22:49:00.000+08:00

is due to the fact that i thought nobody read my blog no more...

thx querido... for waking me up...

second single is done! phew! just released it online at myspace. gimme some comments y'all...

been busy working here and there, mostly for telco companys, in three consecutive weeks, i did karnival mentor for celcom, jom heboh for hotlink and sci fi and fantasy festival for digi... lol... talk about freelancing...

so if you read this post, leave a comment and say hi... maybe i'll start writing more after this... *smiles*

late'a...

live performance...

2006-10-25T23:27:00.000+08:00

something i found on youtube a while back which i should have put on here earlier... it was taken early this year in nottingham university, semenyih. i'd like to thank all who was there who had fun with me as well as the x fresh crew... *smiles*

a day in the life of...

2006-10-24T01:26:00.000+08:00

me...

random person : so, what do you do for a living?
maviceplaytoy : i spend money... *smiles*
random person : spend money? i mean a job. what is your job?
maviceplaytoy : that is my job. i go out everyday and i spend money...
random person : how do you make that money in the first place?
maviceplaytoy : well, by having fun! talking to any hot girls, playing games with ppl, getting them to do funny things and making fun of em... mostly i just talk. also i jump around like a monkey onstage having fun, singing songs and that gets me the money too...
random person : so thats your job?
maviceplaytoy : nope. thats me having fun. my job is spending all the money i get from having fun... *smiles again*
random person : r i g h t ...
maviceplaytoy : *grins*

***************************************

i am a socialite... got that word of a friend. never really saw myself that way. i mean i grew up being kinda by myself almost all the time so i thought i was a loner. well in a way i am..

i like my alone time... it lets me think and also dream. i'm a pisces... we dream way too much. but since i started living dreams on an everyday basis, it was much more fun thinking of em instead of making up new ones... *smiles*

then after getting out of social hell which i call high school, i started becoming quite social. i observed ppl and then molded myself conciously and unconciously into becoming an amalgamation of all social traits that i admired... now i can't go beyond a day without human contact. a huge change from my former self...

my girl says that i tend to start talking to ppl, even strangers easily. i used to be the shy type... *smiles* i guess what i am saying is, i love human contact. in fact i am addicted to it...

lets see, today started talking to the taxi driver, about raya and deepavali. after that in the lrt, observed this huge chinese family travelling together, and they seem fascinated by the lrt. the kids were anyway... found out that they were from perak and kelantan, after i started a conversation with one of the guys... then after i went to the shop, near my place, spoke to the guys that work in the cc... and that was just today.

so if you do bump into me and i don't know who you are or if i am an idiot and should know who you are but i forgot because i meet way too many ppl in my everyday life, say hi. because i would indeed love to have a chat with you. unless i am in a hurry, or if i am feeling anti-social. but i will try to be cordial. in fact you might just be the distraction i need to smile again... *smiles*

considering all the time...

2006-09-16T02:50:00.000+08:00

that i hang about online, i barely write anymore... weird...

thx to this post, that snapped me out of it...

nenamoesha said...
hey sweet...i know u posted this some time ago but hey just wanna let you know that i'm proud of you! of knowing what you want to do with your life. even without her words, you would have come to a point where you realize your dreams and go for it. ;) *hugs*

thx girl... second baby huh? *smiles*

it is everyday that keeps me awake... remembering the things i wanna do, though i procrastinate like hell, somehow or rather i'd get to it. when i was younger, i used to stand at the balcony in my house(only on the second floor but i could see the sky clearly) staring at the skies above, dreaming of my life to be. thats why i loved watching movies at that time. i was 14.

i used to steal rm 10 from my dad's pants and sneak to kl on saturdays. rm 2.80 for the bus trip. rm 4.40 for the movie ticket. the rest was food and drinks... rex and cathay rocked...

looking out at the sky i wondered if i was supposed to be someone. my dreams consisted of not a rockstar life, but more of a simple man, with charm. that's what my dad had. charm. so that's what i wanted to have. to know what to say at the right time. to know what to do. and to hold someone's admiration. a noble romantic notion. *smiles*

15 years ago...

oh my times have changed... wish my dad was still around so that i can steal from his pants. *smiles*

just came back from a nice holiday in penang... with my baby. was nice... just lounging in front of a beach and not thinking of anything in particular to do... now i need to get back to work. know anyone who charges next to nothing for really good hip hop beats?

late'a
my music

amazing grace....

2006-08-14T23:51:00.000+08:00

today, ten years ago, at 8.07 pm, my dad passed away at kajang hospital.

i was at the mamak with my best friend.

which means i have been bald for the past 10 years...

a few years back i had a fling with this girl, which started of pretty nice and cool and then took a turn for worse when she turned out to be the crazy stalker type who hit me in front of a lot ppl in a club in kl. who ended up in a police station cos she got lost that same night. imagine getting a call from the police station at 1 am. but basically thats not what i'm trying to talk about here. its what she said to me in her goodbye letter. it was 16 pages long. i still have it.

the thing was i wasn't doing so well and money was scarce. everytime she came down to kl(she's from kuantan), she would pay for everything. and she said in the letter,

"you're 26 years old. what are you doing with your life? you have no permanent job. you're drifting towards nowhere in particular, and you have been wanting to do an album but i haven't seen or heard anything concrete yet. what is your plan?"

mind you this was 3 years ago.

a lot has changed since then. i have since bought a car. i have since released an single. i have since built up an emceeing profile. i have since moved into a place that i am renting on my own.

my point is, it has been a long time since my dad passed away. and i have changed. in essense i am still the same guy i was back in school. but then i was dreaming of things that i am doing right now. guess thats why i rarely daydream nowadays...

so thank you miss sh****. you actually made me realise what i was doing wrong. i guess meeting you turned out to be a blessing in disguise after all. besides waiting outside my house till i came back at 6 in the morning and freaking the shit outta me and my best friend, you have actually did something good for me.

anyone else know anything similar? late'a...

waiting on a dumb luck...

2006-08-11T13:52:00.000+08:00

lyrics from a song...

i see that my bad luck streak continues... stupid lady slammed into the back of my car in federal highway... muthafucka! supposed to send my car to the workshop but all this insurance thingie is annoying me...

fuck... batmobile out of commision for a while...

blissful clumsiness...

2006-08-08T21:12:00.000+08:00

jom heboh kuantan...

tale of clumsiness... had 2 random incidents which rarely happen to me...

1 : on sat around 2.30, as i was reaching for this small box, it slips from my hand. in my hurry to catch it, my pinky nail hits the box and pushes it towards a table. mmmmm...

box=immovable object;
table=immovable object; thus
my nail=broken!

it isn't as bad as it sounds and it looks ok today but during that sat it hurt like a mutha...

2 : later that day, around 7.30 pm, as i'm going up this slight incline, the ground gave way(it was one of those cover on top of a drain) my next step wasn't far enough and my hand was grasping air... turned and smashed my left knee to the ground... luckily it was a grass field...

random guy looks at me fall and wants to laugh but holds it. as i get up, i start laughing, and so does he... randomness...

when the mist settles...

2006-08-04T11:53:00.000+08:00

the single has been recorded.

now its mixing and mastering. gonna cost me though. 1 song would cost me 100 to mix and 200 to master. lets do costing together aight?

mixing
3 songs * 100 = rm300
mastering
4 songs * 200 = rm800
= rm1100

ouch... anyone interested in sponsoring this single? costs not included yet is cd reproduction and inlay design and print.

and yes...

*quote*December said...
But dude, isnt it a wiper? Viper is a vemomous snake, and yes, the overated car tv series too. :) Sorry, i just had to.

Word of the day :))

wip·er Audio pronunciation of "wiper" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (wpr)
n.

1. One that wipes.
2. Something, such as a towel, used for wiping.
3. A device designed for wiping, as on an automobile windshield.
4. A projecting cam, as on a rotating shaft, that activates another machine part.
5. A movable electrical contact, as in a rheostat.

Nice blog, well balanced. Me likes, and oh, hi C.Loco. *unquote*

thank you for pointing it out... it is "wiper" lol. if you wanna read the random entry, click here...

leaving for kuantan today for hotlink jom heboh. be back on monday... see ya till then... late'a...

12 days of fatigue...

2006-07-20T12:16:00.000+08:00

longest week for me... 12 days of something to do on every single day... let's recap...

day 1 : thursday july 6th
woke up and sent my girl off to work, then back home and time to pack... it was off to penang for me... finally got the bus station at 4 and got a bus at 5. arrived at 9 and got picked up by moe and went to a jamming session with his band... got to the hotel after that and ended up chattin with moe and his gf emily till 4 in the morn. went to have supper and slept at 6.

day 2 : friday july 7th
alarm rang at 8 after barely sleeping which announced that samir was arriving and moe had to go to work... moe left, samir came about and we went for breakfast. came back, had an early beer and went to sleep again till around 2. went for lunch in gurney plaza, then went to sound check at the gig venue... met up with the organisers bianca and claudia and did a soundcheck... got a ride back to the hotel at 6.
freshened up, packed my bags and headed back to the venue. me samir were asked to emcee the whole event and we did so, with alot of winging it in the middle. my show came on and went, and then i left... did a good show i thought... off to the bus station and boarded a bus for kl at 12.30 am.

day 3 : saturday july 8th
awoke in the morning as the bus arrived at kl at 6 in the morn... still exhausted, took a cab home and lied down for an hour before my alarm forced me awake and i got dressed ready to go. it was day one of magic pre release tourney for coldsnap and i was judging. long story my work started at 8.30 and finished at 8 at night. the day wasn't finished though.
got in my car and drove to kl to a place called clun de macau to meet a guy named gerald. he came around 9.15 and we discussed tommorows event, the world cup final party. got home at 10.30 and crashed...

day 4 : sunday july 9th
again woke up early to go to day two of coldsnap pre release. same timing. from 8.30 am till 8 pm. i was tired. sleepy. couldn't give my all in the pre release. but managed anyway. left for club de macau after that and got there at 9. met gerald and as we sat there, the crowd seemed to be missing.

gerald : i hope the crowd shows up for this event. i hate organising something this late.
me : malaysian crowd what, malaysian timing lah...
gerald : i hope so...

now to understand the situation more clearly, club de macau is a classy karaoke joint. with hot g.r.o.'s and lotsa booze around... so naturally all of the guest would like to stay in the karaoke rooms instead of being out in the lounge... i was supposed to start at 10. eventually did so at 11. also invited samir to come join me there after his hotlink show as i had beer on the house. he came along with his gf, and a couple of other friends... turned out gerald and him were old friends... small world. i myself met up with an old fling, tanya who i had not met in like 4 years... turns out she supplied dancers to the club... event finished right around 1.45 am before the world cup final. drove back extremely high, after consuming quite a few glasses of beer and other sorts of alcohol. thank god i can still hold my liquor... got home and watched the final till around the 80th minute... sleep kicked in...

day 5 : monday july 10th
woke up again extremely tired and got dressed and went over to kdu for a digi event. got there at 9 am. briefing done, breakfast consumed and work starts. it is a drive to find contestants for a world record breaking attempt. ean from hitz.fm and 200 other ppl are supposed to sit down in a cinema and watch movies for 72 hour straight. the catch is, no sleeping... 10 minutes break in between each movie and food and drinks are provided... if anyone is interested the final registration in this weekend at the curve near the fountain area... i'll be there. it starts at 10 so come look for me ya? work ended at 3.30. finally an early day.

day 6 : tuesday july 11th
same event, this time in inti college. plus this event had some movie characters parading around in full costume. we had freddy and jason, commander worf and the predator... watching the girls scream and run away in fear was fun....

day 7 : wednesday july 12th
routine kicks in, this time in taylors hospitality and management college in the old bali building in sunway. our most boring crowd throughout the whole event. also at this event we have 3 pcs with flat screen monitors set up to play juiced. fiat punto rocks...

day 8 : thursday july 13th
last college venue. sunway college. got there early, went for breakfast with my friend blur who studies there and commenced fun at 11. and my goodness, sunway girls are hot! what my friend said is right. either they really dress up or they dont care. and the girls who do dress up were a sight for sore eyes....

day 9 : friday july 14th
work free day yet i had a performance for xfresh in the myso jam fest at cineleisure damansara. got there at 4 and did a sound check. show kicked off at and i performed at 6. ida from xfresh asked me to perform the next day as well...

day 10 : saturday july 15th
got to cineleisure at 4 again, watched samir's show at 6 and got ready for work. had a l'oreal paris studio line hair man-ia search finale to handle upstairs. amazing how a bald guy was hosting a hair event. got quite a few laughs from it... performed after that for xfresh and had fun... for the first time, ida maria stepped on stage and performed her chorus with me for legend of boo... nice...

day 11 : sunday july 16th
last show for xfresh and got ida on stage again. had tech with me as well. after the show, went over to the recording studio in sunway and got ready to record the second single with tech. k town clan arrived later and all in all we finished around 1.30. got home late due to the mamak and hunger pangs... slept at 5.

day 12 : monday july 17th
back to the digi showcase and we were in upm serdang for the final roadshow... friendliest bunch of ppl... highlights include jason walking into the cafeteria and screams of fear emnating from it seconds later...

thereby ending 12 days of fatigue... had a relaxing day on tuesday... late'a...

absence makes the heart go yonder...

2006-07-11T18:31:00.000+08:00

it's been quite a while since i blogged... wonder if i lost any readers...

been travelling alot lately. just around malaysia. was in johor last month, penang twice since and recently kangar, perlis.

i love to travel... been around the world here and there but not as much as i would like... guess the whole leaving your home is so much sweeter when you come back to it...

i've been to...

1.) london, england - by far my most favourite place in the world. considering the fact that i grew up reading the saint, james bond 007, the man from u.n.k.l.e and wwii books, this is the world that i longed to be when i was a child. and when i finally went there in the early in the decade, it was divine... though this thought comes from my childhood self that believed the world was wonderful and beautiful. where a romantic scene is in the air while agents and spies are stalking each other in every dark corner. where the english is spoken with class and dignity...
though of course it is not true in real life... but i loved it there anyway... taking the underground around town, drinking really cheap tasty beer in cosy pubs, speaking with the locals, attending concerts and i don't know about you, but the women were gorgeous...

2.) amsterdam, netherlands - omfg... country where weed is legal. prostitution is legal. and the people are quite friendly. being a serial couch potato, seeing it all in front of my eyes did take some believing... i remember watching a sex show and falling asleep after it had repeated twice... i remember smoking weed till the washroom walls wouldn't stop moving... i remember walking along the red district and admiring the sexy women...

3.) hong kong - watching this place on chinese serials doesn't give it enough credit. it is even more shady than that... but i guess that is seen through the eyes of a foreigner... standing in the middle of people traffic during rush hour had its thrills... shopping in a huge petaling street kinda atmosphere was nice... clubbin with the people who owned the club had its priviledges...

4.) bangkok, thailand - i loved the difference in culture, but for someone who hungers for human interaction, i just couldn't speak to anyone. most of them barely spoke english... guess that being the only con, the rest was pros... beautiful ppl and the sound of a foreign language being spoken in intense smoothness and languidity made it nice...

to be continued...

and now...

2006-06-07T22:47:00.000+08:00

its back to writing again...

i'm in the same cybercafe i'm always at and this time writing about my fav topic, music. specifically my album.

current track listing....

1. legend of boo feat ida maria
2. (secret - this is the second single)english feat suria & k town clan
3. (secret - this is the second single)malay feat suria, phatnatrix & encik tech
3. v.i.p. feat encik tech
4. me feat encik tech & mo'joe

at the moment, these are confirmed tracks for the album. funny thing is i seem to have someone featured on every track... mmmm... could be a good thing, could be a bad thing. maybe i should call my album c.loco and friends... *smiles* right now the working title for the album is legend of boo... recording the second single on monday...

and to bav, does that answer your question dear? yes i am working on my solo album right now... listen to the first single at myspace.

more jobs and shows coming up. i'll be headed up to penang on the 24th and 25th for work and then back there for a gig on the 7th of july. somehow the pearl of the orient seems to love me...

trying to shift into second gear with my life. i don't know how but i am at third gear now. up from god knows what gear i was at last year...

and i am surprised that there are people who come to this blog on a regular basis still. after going on a hiatus for the past couple of months i thought the traffic would be dry. yet i am flattered... late'a...

my new place...

2006-06-05T20:12:00.000+08:00

is cool...

no i mean its cool. like all the time. i'm on the 13th floor and the wind blows like nobody's business... and lets not talk about when it rains... and its noisy. yet i love it! my own place! wow. i have come a long way...

from bunking over a mates house... then staying there more often. then officially moving out of my moms place. then moving around here and there... and now this. my own place. btw, i have 2 rooms up for rent. anyone interested?

finally got one verse done from phatnatrix for the second single. k town still havent gotten back to me yet regarding their verse yet. second single... soon, soon.

worked for the recent kl gp in kl convention centre. tiring work. japanese guy won it. walked away with usd 2400. still recovering...

more to come soon... late'a

must get back...

2006-05-23T16:23:00.000+08:00

to writing again...

it's been a while now since i wrote... and i blame it all on brain blankness... on an ordinary day i come up with so many things that i figure would be awesome to be posted on my blog, yet when i sit in front of the pc i get blank...

moving house end of this month... i'll be in moving to somewhere in kj and it's my place so if anyone needs a place to crash, it's all good...

premiership is over and liverpool finished third, one point behind man u and also we won the fa cup, thanks to steven gerrard... what a goal... till now i am blown away by that last minute equaliser...

world cup is coming up and back to supporting argentina... haven't been following the team much though since losing the south american cup to brazil even though we had the bomb team... oh well...

musically, the second single sounds good, and have been making lotsa contacts overseas who might be making apperances on my album... also during the jom heboh jb met up with an old friend james baum, who is almost done with his album as well as doul. was fun to be on stage with him again...

been drafting quite alot lately and yet only won one draft. all of the others, i went 1-2. daft...

saw this amazingly kinky movie called "secretary" with james spader and maggie gyllenhaal on hbo. watch it and tell me what you guys think... late'a...

been there, done that...

2006-04-19T13:56:00.000+08:00

been away for a while....

1. went to penang twice in 3 weeks... while i was there, i
* went clubbing twice in glo and slippery senoritas.
* performed for the xfresh roadtrip and then got called on stage by moe and ended up jamming with him in a random rock gig.
* went to a beach party for some random ppl's birthday.
* stayed in gurney hotel, currently the nicest hotel room i've stayed in.

2. weekends are still booked with work. this weekend is dissension prerelease in midvalley.

3. second single is on the way to being completed. you can hear my first single here. click on my myspace

more on stuff later...

damned if i do...

2006-03-21T17:04:00.000+08:00

damned if i don't...

it's been a while now since i posted something of interest...

there's so many things in my head that i would like to pour out and yet i have difficulty expressing myself... maybe point forms would help...

* made top 4 in a magic tourney recently... which means that i have gone 8 wins, 1 draw and 1 loss with that deck... mmmm....

* performed in university of nottingham and ukm for xfresh road tour on monday and today... was fun, nottingham was more open minded and the students didn't mind being put in the centre of attention. meanwhile ukm students were mainly tudung chicks and very soft guys. but they were some who did enjoy themselves and made my day... also dayang nurfaizah also performed so it made their day...

* went to singpaore a couple of weeks ago and had loads of fun eevn though it was only for 2 days and 2 nights... met up with phatnatrix and got a verse for the second single written, met up with an internet friend ana, who turned out to be quite a fun girl to hang out with. also hung out with jess, my fav sg airline stewardess in training, and played in a wrestling tourney. went 3-4 and didn't win anything yet still enjoyed myself...

* second single is on track with 2 language version planned. the malay version fatures phatnatrix and the english version features k town clan... hopefully if things go well, it'll come out by may...

*i got good news and bad news... the good news is i quit smoking. the bad news is i quit smoking... yet after 26 days off it, i started again... oh well...

more updates another day... later...

copying is a form of flattery...

2006-03-10T19:17:00.000+08:00

you'll understand soon enough...

you go through life thinking, that you've said it all and you've seen it all and yet your thoughts seem unique and only after a lengthy explanation does someone else understand what/how you think...

and yet today i read someone's thoughts which mirrors mine to almost a milipoint... read on... (p/s sorry girl, but i gotta flick this, all credit to you though...)

"I would like to bring up my kids as free thinkers. Having faith in the existence of a supreme power which the human race has named it God is alright, because I too often find myself questioning on many issues that science can't prove jackshit. However I would want them to believe that destiny lies in our hands and not in the hands of God."
- *nods vigorously*

"This may sound a bit harsh especially if you're a Christian reading this, but committing a sin and then praying and confessing to cleanse your sins in just utter bullshit in my opinion. Mind you, I'm not against Christianity. I have a whole love-hate thing for all religions including Hinduism. So I'd rather practise all the good teachings which doesn't take a religion to knock it into my head and try to do as much good deeds as possible in my short lifespan."
- thank you...

religion has been one sore topic for me as i had not been able to get someone to explain or answer all my questions about them... yet when i put my thoughts on the table, it brushed aside and i'm told that what is true cannot be denied... (really...)

more identical thoughts...

"Ambiguity"
I started to wonder why do people with the same mindset as me get into relationships. A point to ponder on."
- i'm in love with falling in love...

"As opposed to some lovers' idea of getting hooked with the intention of getting hitched someday to the same person, why do people like me get into relationships? We find it healthier to go with the flow in a steady relationship than to plan too far ahead and get doomed when the plans start to fall out of hand and looking dim. But doesn't that imply we're just an aimless bunch of morons falling in love to no avail? Some may say it's too love, care, bla bla fucking bla unconditionally and get what you give and it's an awesome feeling."
- i'm successfully unsuccessful at realtionships...

"Don't you do that to your family and friends too? How does it differ from a special someone? Guess the answer's the intimacy. The adrenaline rushes and the sex could be the core reason. We don't get on just to fuck. You have the love-care related reasons but subconsciously it's the romance that gets to the pinnacle behind your conscience. I totally understand the "feeling" being in love and all that jazz, but without having an aim to what stage I wanted to carry on I did wonder why was I in the relationship in the first place. It's hard to describe."
-and yet justify it i do...

"I wasn't doing it because everyone did. Neither did I tell myself I want to love and care for someone and give all I could coz that's just plain bullshit as I love and care for my family and foes. The only significant difference is the intimacy. But that wasn't the only reason I stuck foot into it. Obviously not! We could fuck around without getting into a relationship but it's a whole load of different feeling to get down on someone you love and not any handpicked mofo out there. However you can't go down on your brother or sister or friend can you? I'm not refering to fuck buddies here, that's a different story alltogether. So we need a special someone to experience the two in one package and not just pure sex with no passion."
-i know love makes all the difference with sex...

"So WHAT was my reason for being the relationships? I don't know. But I won't stop getting into it if the person's right and stick to my mindset as long as the term marriage doesn't interfere in my life. It was fun being in love tho :) I don't know how's it gonna be next but the past was desirable."
-i'm in one right now... so let's see where it gets me to...

thank you my dear bav... later...

leaving on a moving bus...

2006-03-04T01:29:00.000+08:00

i'm leaving for singapore in six and a half hours...

there's a card game tournament i'm involved in and will be back on monday... been working quite a bit lately yet the money has been slow in coming...

have been managing to watch every single episode of american idol this season and so far i've noticed one thing that i haven't noticed before... how annoying randy and paula are! when they give their flower scented comments or dog pound whoopdedoos, simon keeps quiet. yet when he says something, anything, they butt in ALL the time... and to tell you the truth, i seem to agree with cowell 90% of the time...

talent is one thing, to use it and have the correct song that fits you while entertaining the crowd and making sure you look good on camera is not easy and everyone screws up at it...

though it is fun watching ryan and simon throw wiity comments about each other...

went to melaka with tech and back and then the weekend after was in genting for more work... read about the melaka trip on tech's blog.

got a few things coming up for me... wish me luck people... later...

late night radio...

2006-02-13T20:09:00.000+08:00

i'll be on xfresh tonight at 9 pm... sorry for the late post as i only had it confirmed like two hours ago... later...

tres delinquentes

2006-01-31T15:41:00.000+08:00

by delinquents habits...

i miss my dad.

i bought that album on the day he passed away.

it's funny how for a man who i thought i wasn't close to, i tend to quote him a whole lot. this is a man whom i get my passion for sports for. for instance, he being a lifelong man u supporter and me being a liverpool supporter meant there is war in the house everytime the teams met. once, when liverpool won 4-0, he didn't speak to me for a week. and the last thing we ever talked about was football. it was the night before. i came back late and asked him the final score of a man u match. he said it was 4-0.

he was a great man. sad that i only see it this late. he had a weird way of telling me he's proud of me. like how he'd tell his friends that my nickname was mr dictionary. i hated it. but that's how he was showing me off.

or when i came back with 5a's for my upsr. he looked at the cert and said, how come there's no b's here?

i know that if he still was alive, my life would have been different. i probably wouldn't be where i am right now. makes me wonder how different my life would've turned out. i probably would've finished my studies. and gone overseas. doing computers and music. i could be married now. LOL.

my girl says that i'm a very helpful guy. i never really noticed. now i see that i get it from him as well. he helped everyone who asked. then they screwed him over. and yet he still walked on.

mr balakrishnan.

yeah... i miss my dad...

i've seen it all...

2006-01-09T16:34:00.000+08:00

quote
fiercely religious people intent to convert you. i love God as much as the next person, but i'll be my own God, you hear? i have deep respect for all religions, but my belief is like my sexual orientation: straight. don't try and change me, and i won't throw your bible, pamphlet, or whatever you have in your face. i'm fine if you introduce me and are clueless to my religious beliefs, but if you tell me that i'll go to hell and suffer soddom and ghommora, then that'll just piss the bitch out of me. Jesus is your homeboy. i get it. i don't think you masturbate to noah if you're Christian, so don't automatically assume I'm the spawn of satan if I'm not.
unquote
-querido-

nothing sets the mind racing like reading another random person's blog. i've just recently discovered her blog and she really makes me smile with her style of writing... reminds me a bit of rudy. later...

game over...

2006-01-09T15:52:00.000+08:00

please insert coin(s) to continue...

random titles always makes my day...

"On another note...
I am saddened... I cant believe playtoy didn't mention me as one of the people who he rarely talks to who still think of him....
I think of him pretty often.. I think of all my friends back home so much actually! miss them so much...."
ninjalena

*smiles* i have friends who seem to take offense rather easily. i do remember you my dear. just that i did mention your sister and you seem to have disappeared due to "serial dating" interludes...

innate superpower huh? lol... you have mentioned that to me before... how you have fallen into countless drains(i am exaggerating) i'm still major droppings and i still drop stuff everywhere...

it's the new year and if you were wondering where i was, i was having supper with my dear in centrepoint's secret recipe. we saw some fireworks behind some trees and the smoke from some other fireworks... quiet new year.

i'll be 29 this year. still planning my single and album. still planning my video. still looking for funding. still trying to convince my mom that i don't wanna get married yet. still trying to get better at the game of magic the gathering. still trying to make my million. as always...

was working in one utama for dunloppillo last week and bumped into a couple people there... they were, lets see...
-ayu-
-farah-
-fifi-
-sofia-
-landslyde-
-nas-t-
-adam-

random ppl...

next up for me is the video and the second single... later...

mykad journey...

2005-12-31T20:08:00.000+08:00

went to get my mykad done today. i know, the last day to get it done for free and i had procrastinated to this day and finally decided to do it. went to pick up my sister( who also had not changed her ic despite having a jpn branch 10 minutes walk from her house and proceeded to putrajaya. while on the way, we both realised that none of us knew where it was. thus it was decided that we look for places that had lots of cars parked. (plus we knew it was in precint 2) arrived at 10 am.

done by 12pm.

amazing.

all the horror stories of waiting for hours never materialised as the staff did everything orderly and moved ppl fast. i was numbered 1431 and my sister was 1444.(she had to put on makeup in the car) when we arrived it was 12xx...

*smiles* guess everyone thought it'd be a big hassle and that too many ppl will be there so they decided not to go. lucky my sister persuaded me to go... later...

p/s happy new year everyone...

it's been a while...

2005-12-29T19:20:00.000+08:00

since i found out who else read my blog besides the usual assortments of funny friends i have... *sic* anyway last year i had an entry asking everyone "who i am to you?" i think it's time to ask it again...

"i was just wondering today about the people i used to know or the girls that i liked and could've had something on with or the guys that i was close to, or even the people that i know now... who am i to you?"
- Sashi Kumar Balakrishnan
*8.30.2004*

to those who've already answered this question, just add your name in to say that your still reading my blog. to those whom i don't know, please introduce yourself... thank you... later...

word of the day...
identity

• noun (pl. identities)
1 the fact of being who or what a person or thing is.
2 the characteristics determining this.
3 a close similarity or affinity.
4 mathematics an equation expressing the equality of two expressions for all values of the variables, e.g. (x + 1)2 = x2 + 2x + 1.

the days of our lives...

2005-12-18T21:23:00.000+08:00

sorta popped in my head...

had a conversation with a dear friend...

Di says:
how're you?
mavice playtoy : says:
i'm ok
mavice playtoy : says:
i guess
mavice playtoy : says:
nothing i haven't been thru before
Di says:
it good to see you alive
mavice playtoy : says:
baby
mavice playtoy : says:
thats a painful thing to say
Di says:
as opposed to?
mavice playtoy : says:
nice to talk to you again ?
Di says:
Nice to talk to you again hon.
mavice playtoy : says:
yay
Di says:
Better?
mavice playtoy : says:
yes
mavice playtoy : says:
u blunt person you
Di says:
Oh you still get the softened edges.
mavice playtoy : says:
thank you
Di says:
*patpat*

she's that blunt. guess that's what i love about her. it feels nice to know that friends that i rarely talk to still think of me... maybe i should name em...

kitty...
she randomly drops hints that she misses me and wants to hang out. wish i had more time for her...
di...
haven't seen her in a while... even though i do go hang out at my friend's place which is like 2 mins away from her place...
andrea...
my very own beauty queen... miss this woman heaps... wish i could go singapore more often...

was randomly watching tv the other day and stopped channel surfing to set about watching this movie called "gettin square".
it was an australian movie with an unknown cast... not bad premise though, a bit like snatch and lock stock and two smoking barrels... if u chance upon on tv, check it out... you might like it.

lately my car has been my main expense...

new window - rm 270
new air cond compressor - rm 486
radiator problem - unknown (i'm finding out tomorrow *sigh*)

anyone got shows for me to do or events for me to emcee? you know where to find me. need money to fix car! later...

p/s rudy, get well soon dude. it pains me to watch a one handed magic player... *smile*

the bastard in me...

2005-12-10T20:42:00.000+08:00

sometimes i feel like it...

why do we do shitty things? because we know we can get away with it...

went to triona/ida/rizal/ahmad's birthday party last night and ended up staying over... needless to say things got pretty interesting...

i am at a lost currently... lotsa things not going according to plan... just wished i had a better plan than what i have now... although on a much better note, i found my right side car window! or more like my uncle found it for me in klang... this be what happened last monday...

1200 hours -
me : uncle, i'll be there at around 3 to go get the window...
uncle : ok, gimme a call when you get to klang...

1210 hours -
had to go to the bank to get the cash to pay for it...

1310 hours -
still waiting for the bank to gimme money...

1330 hours -
finally !

1423 hours -
me : uncle i'm in klang... i just passed the tol...
uncle : call me back when you're in town...
me :(lost) ok...

1445 hours -
me : uncle, i'm parked in front of gold course hotel...
uncle : oh... ok. i'll be there in ten minutes... wait for me...
random guy in the background : he's in goldcourse? thats far...

1455 hours -
uncle shows up and off we go, me following him on the motorcycle...

1520 hours -
we finally reach this random spare parts shop in god knows where in klang... talk to this random bald chinese dude who gives us this bill for rm 250 for the window... pay for it and then he tells us that the window will come around 5.30... i looked at y watch and my heart sank... two hours of waiting...

1530 hours -
my uncle leaves to go back to work after giving me directions on how to get out of there...

1630 hours -
the first hour passed by real fast as i sat down in a random malay coffee shop next door, looking through my card collection...

1650 hours -
the second hour was starting to be so draggy...

1730 hours -
went back to the shop and the guy says it's not there yet...

1745 hours -
still not there...

1800 hours -
nope...

1830 hours -
the mechanic next door who was supposed to fix up the window says good night to me and proceeds to leave...
bald chinese dude : your place can fix ah?
me : not todayla...
bald chiense guy : motherf*cker... where is this guy?
me : what chu said homes...(whispered to myself of course...)

1845 hours -
random malay dude walks in with the window and say to me...
"ini cermin jaga, jangan kasi pecah lagi tau... kita pun ada satu je... susah jumpa!"
(translation - take care of this window, make sure it doesn't break. we only had one. very hard to find!)

as if i broke the window on purpose...

1900 hours -
drove over further down to another ketuk kereta place and the guy there fixed the window in for me...

ah... felt so nice driving back with a window that i could wind down... sorta like my life... now if i can only find the left window... later...

mister motherf*cker

2005-11-26T21:11:00.000+08:00

hate it when you type a full entry and your pc hangs on you... let me see if i can recap what i wrote...

been browsing thru some friends blogs and seems like love is in the air... congrats to sakthy...

i for one am someone who doesn't believe in it anymore. don't get me wrong. i'm happy to see that my friends still do. i am in a relationship yet i am unable to expend all my trust on one person like i used to do before... guess there is too much hurt to get over.

"judge me for what i do , yet punish me even more..."
rings true for my situation... god and his damn sitcoms...

to those who tuned in xfresh to catch my show, my apoligies. it seems that i have mixed up the timing of the show and it instead the other way round. sat 5-6 and sun 10-11. could've sworn i was told the other way though...

i played six songs and they were...
1 : vegam vivegam - hyprkinetix
(these guys believed in me enough to feature me in the title song of their debut album... thx guys...)
2 : gerek - phatnatrix
(still the best malay rap song i've heard in malaysia...)
3 : let's get crunk - k-town clan
(kajang rocks)
4 : sleepy head - jason lo
(my fav local song at the current time)
5 : kehendak naluri - dragon red feat mister tech
(listen to it first... i'm hooked!)
6 : legend of boo - c.loco feat ukiko suzuki
(had to play my song)

i talked a bit about the music industry and also thanked my fans and friends... later...

word of the day...
trust

• noun
1 firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
2 acceptance of the truth of a statement without evidence or investigation.
3 the state of being responsible for someone or something.
4 law an arrangement whereby a person (a trustee) is made the nominal owner of property to be held or used for the benefit of one or more others.
5 a body of trustees, or an organization or company managed by trustees.

• verb
1 have trust in.
2 (trust with) have the confidence to allow (someone) to have, use, or look after.
3 (trust to) commit (someone or something) to the safekeeping of.
4 (trust to) place reliance on (luck, fate, etc.).
5 have confidence; hope: I trust that you have enjoyed this book.

oh what tangled webs we weave...

2005-11-15T13:52:00.000+08:00

in retrospect to my previous post...

. says:
so does the ***** revelation mean you're not going to go after her?
. says:
it's funny sial
. says:
like the ending of an m night shyamalan movie
. says:
all the pieces fitting together
mavice playtoy : i'm loco till i'm dead, enough said. says:
hahhahaha
mavice playtoy : i'm loco till i'm dead, enough said. says:
yeah
mavice playtoy : i'm loco till i'm dead, enough said. says:
no i'm not

m night shyamalan movie ending... before this, my life was a sitcom... now it's a full fledged movie... i was on x fresh's am jam in the morning as well as access show with jfk. also i'm x fresh's bintang celebrity of the week. i got one hour where i talk and play songs i want to play... hehehhe catch me on air at 10-11 pm on this saturday and 5-6 pm on sunday... later...

funny things that happens to me...

2005-11-05T21:39:00.000+08:00

part 1...

i just found out earlier that someone whom i've been adoring since i've seen her is actually one of my old friend's ex girlfriend.
random fact 1:
she was his first love.
random fact 2:
i've met her before!
random fact 3:
she's been in my car before.
random fact 4:
i never equated that xxxxxx is actually the xxxxxx that i met a long time ago...
random fact 5:
pantang kawan... guess i'll move on to jojo stryus...

*sigh* later...

wishes...

2005-11-03T20:55:00.001+08:00

happy deepavali and selamat hari raya to all...

imagine i spend around rm 15 every year sms'ing ppl to wish them... i think it's worth it...

later...

number one...

2005-10-25T20:23:00.000+08:00

on xfresh ten... thank you to all who called up to tell me the good news...

to those who have requested for the lyrics, here it is...

Artist: C. Loco
Song Title: Legend Of Boo

verse one -C.Loco-
I be the infamous known all over the town
I'm the real thing baby I've been all around
With my high pitched vocal make your head go spinning
You want money but I rather mack the women
Now you see me with my cap bent sideways
And my slick bald head shinin' on my wild days
All around with my Liverpool jerseys
Chattin' up the girls I'ma call em my ladies
But of course 4 became 1,
Side effects none, notice now it's fun
I'm enjoyin this doin what I do the way I like it
With boo at my side he be like my sidekick
From Brunei to Kuantan Cocco Loco
Penang stole the show though where else we gonna go
Mackalicious, cookin up a storm delicious
Fellas be yellin man he's back in business

Chorus -UkikoSuzuki-
Ima watashie kite, hanashitaiete
Ladies and gentleman doshite
Anata nani o suru to, heya ni haitta
I'm back in business like a He||star
Wakatta watashiwa ichiban yo
My flow is unique why don't u tell em Ukiko
Kore wa mikashi banashi no boo
It's the new arrival here to tell you who's who

verse two -C.Loco-
Magnified with the slow flo I'm creepin slow mo
While you acting shady I be rockin more shows
You a mofo you got skills I will blow those
While I'm coastin' up slow you be thinkin' Loco

I be the player with the keys to the city
I hit you with this methapor get bombed like graffiti
Really, stake my claim for the hall of fame
I took the blame for the fall but I'm blazin again
It'd be a shame if I left town without a reply
You don't qualify walkin' around like you supafly
Maybe one day you'll reach my level of pace
But I'll be up in your face leavin a new aftertaste
Over here how we do it, low life ain't admitted
I ain't gonna stand no more drama, I'ma walk through it
When I move fast you won't last I'm more class
All my beats got more snares, watch as I go past

Chorus -UkikoSuzuki-
Ima watashie kite, hanashitaiete
Ladies and gentleman doshite
Anata nani o suru to, heya ni haitta
I'm back in business like a He||star
Wakatta watashiwa ichiban yo
My flow is unique why don't u tell em Ukiko
Kore wa mikashi banashi no boo
It's the new arrival here to tell you who's who

verse three -C.Loco-
Ten years come and go I've been waxing all tracks
What the industry lacks be around when I open up a can of worms
Let me lay down my terms, hold up love i got my class than those germs
Be aware just don't stare come up to me and say hi don't be shy
Holler my name I'll holler back when you walk by may I?

If you insist I ain't tellin' no name
I ain't sayin' who's lame, but the truths remains yeah?
But that's past let bygones be bygones
I'm futuristic, those icons are long gone
I'ma roll with this, I'ma lettin' you know
I got my soul in this, no more messin around
You makin' mischief, your hits be misses
I'm back in business, let it be known, I be the shiznit

Chorus -UkikoSuzuki-
Ima watashie kite, hanashitaiete
Ladies and gentleman doshite
Anata nani o suru to, heya ni haitta
I'm back in business like a He||star
Wakatta watashiwa ichiban yo
My flow is unique why don't u tell em Ukiko
Kore wa mikashi banashi no boo
It's the new arrival here to tell you who's who

copyright reserved...
later...

we be burnin'...

2005-10-19T13:10:00.000+08:00

thnx to nazarene, i have the single... *smiles*

it's been a while since i've said something substantial on my blog, and i guess everyone would have to wait a bit longer...

it's freezing in this cybercafe and i wanna walk outside for a couple of minutes for a smoke... brb...

back...

"So many of my eligible, intellectual and single guy friends deserve better than the shitty love lives they lead."
rudy

rings so true...

"you deserve so much beter"
ninjalena

thank you love...

"Malaysia has no hot+intellectual+single women."
rudy again...

oh yeah! and thus we are doomed. oh marion...

i have long ago realised that looks in guys don't really matter. how many times have you walked down the street and seen a really hot young lady walking hand in hand with a really ugly fellow. how their clothes don't match, i.e guy in tattered jeans and a ragged old t shirt and girl in hot clubbing-like clothes.

i guess it's how he treats her. how he attracted her in the first place is a mystery to me... maybe how much money he has? or is it how good in bed he is.. but how would she know unless she has slept with him? maybe word travels...

it's almost never that you see the reverse of this phenomenom. if anyone does, pls inform me of my wrong observation. me being a people watcher, i tend to see a lot of things that is below the surface. being a dj/emcee working 12 hour days also allows me to indulge in my hobby more than anything...

sometimes you can put anyone you see in a stereotype group. yes, i know it is not good to do it but everyone generally falls into a particular group.

the challenge for me is always to find someone who doesn't fall into any type of group. a new person. doesn't happen often but when it does, it is always a thrill...

my best friend sashi is in cambodia right now... never would we have guessed wehn we used to hang out last time that we would be here now... he and i were hanging out in kl when my dad passed away. he pushed me on and propped me up when no one else did. i wish the guy well...

come back soon dude... let's go eat prawn mee in petaling street again... lol...

btw, this is my japanese name... lol...
My japanese name is 浜野 Hamano (seaside field) 一真 Kazuma (one reality).
find out your real japanese name today! later...

word of the day...
kismet

• noun destiny; fate.

once again it's on...

2005-10-16T19:17:00.000+08:00

now and then i start running out of money and my deppression starts setting in again...

oh well...

recently i've had alot of ppl whom i've known way back come back around asking about me... quite flattering if you ask me...

made some headway in the production for my second single collabo with k town clan. unfortunately i might have to get kugan to redo tha track though.

to those who have wished me well, or those who have been there for me, i would like to say thank you.

and to too phat, congrats on the new dual album... haven't had a chance to hear it yet but some of the songs sound good...

bumped into saerze today, who also has a song on the charts and an album out... she's a very talented girl whom i think is doing the wrong music genre. but if it makes her happy, who am i to say what... later...

work equals money equals album..

2005-10-07T19:29:00.000+08:00

always a good thing...

i'm actually using a display laptop during this celcom roadshow i'm currently doing in klcc... time consuming and energy sapping. yet it is anything to make a living...

to those who have requested for the lyrics of legend of boo, it will be posted here soon... later..

mad bojo...

2005-09-27T21:07:00.000+08:00

bad mojo the other way around...

was on xfresh fm last night with ida, the girl who sang on legend of boo... check it out...

click here...

my song was no 2 on last night's charts, amazing! and on hitz.fm malaysian top ten, it's no 3!

come on you idiot, come up with a good follow up song!!

my really good friend said that it is time for me to shine. hopefully i'll shine bright and make my friend/friends proud... later...

life is like a box of...

2005-09-20T19:17:00.000+08:00

dunhills. it runs out very fast and when u have ciggies, u have no lighter...

legend of boo is now no 4 on hitz! amazing. never thought this would happen. even though i did want it to happen.

did some shitty emceeing job last weekend due to a friend asking for a favour... i hate doing that but i'm all for helping one in need though. it was in pwtc for this fair called mhbb fair. which meant my mobile, home and beauty bridal fair. why these ppl would want to put mobile phones, property and bridal house exhibitors in the same hall, i don't know. go figure...

i just got invited to too phat's double album laucnh this thursday at velvet kl. apparently i was in joe's personal guestlist(which probably included hundreds of others) and i was quite surprised to know that he still thinks of me as someone that should be there. i'm quite honored actually. looking forward to hearing this double album. wonder how much they have progressed. for one thing i know that they have finally started rapping in malay. always a good step...

when is my album coming out? pre-production is now in the works. it won't come out anytime soon, cos if it is gonna be my debut album, i want it to have quality. thank you to all who have supported me thus far...

fantasy footbal team still mediocre. must improve and overtake azmin! (though i don't think it's possible) later...

word of the day...
comeback

n.
1. a return to formerly enjoyed status or prosperity: the film star made an unexpected comeback.
2. a return to popularity: wide ties are making a comeback this year.
3. the act of making up a deficit, as in a contest or game.
4. a reply, especially a quick witty one; a retort.

seventh heaven...

2005-09-20T18:54:00.000+08:00

damn u tech!

seven things i plan to do before i die:
1. fall in love
2. finish an album
3. watch liverpool live
4. feature with an international artiste
5. drive my own bmw
6. earn a million ringgit
7. base jump

seven things i could do:
1. write hip hop music
2. emcee an event
3. renew my roadtax
4. kiss really well
5. make ppl laugh at me
6. judge a high level magic event
7. get recognized by walking around saying, "hi i'm c.loco!"

seven celebrity crushes:
1. marion caunter
2. claire danes
3. jennifer connelly
4. linda nanuwil
5. melissa maureen rizal
6. brooke burke
7. kristin kreuk

seven often repeated words:
1. fuck
2. what the...
3. shit
4. ooooh
5. okie
6. homes
7. siut

seven physical traits i look for in my partner:
1. "melt my heart" smile
2. cute
3. has more hair than me
4. sparkling eyes
5. naughty hands
6. nice body (gotta be shallow sometimes)
7. cute...

seven tags go to:
1. none
2. none
3. none
4. none
5. none
6. none
7. none (sorry, i don't forward stuff...)

later...

the rise of the fallen he||star...

2005-09-11T20:29:00.000+08:00

to those who has wished me well and to those who had voted for my song on air, thank you. legend of boo is now no 11 on carta xfresh 20 and no 7 on hitz.fm malaysian top 10.

random comment time!

anonymous said...
heard ur song. honestly, its only hyped because u been missing in a while. the song itself is no where as good as other local hip hop songs. just my 2 cents.

10:03 pm

anonymous said...
oh, by the way. the reason i posted as anonymous is because i'm really jelous of the success you've managed to achieve. it completely undermines my already low self esteem. sometimes when nobody is looking, i like taking my 2 cents, convert it into malaysian sen (so i can have about 7 sen) and shove that up my ass while screaming my daddy's name. anyway, all the best. anybody know where i can buy a good pair of tweezers?

10:34 pm

i like this comments. very to the point and this person actually had something intelligent to say... thank you. i agree that the song is not the best malaysian song out there but it is still my baby. it was written, produced, composed, engineered, financed and marketed by me. my success is not one to be envied. more like my lack of...

end of random comment time!

god loves to play games with me. and to those who read my blog on a regular basis would know that this is not the first time i've brought up this subject. it's like i'm on a syndicated sitcom on his tv comedy channel called "locoland" and everyday he turns it on to laugh at my life... and how he manages to keep track of my karma is beyond me. alas he is after all, the omnipotent one...

why do we lie? is it because we are afraid that the truth will make things worse? will you lie somemore to hide a previous lie? do you realize how bad the situation has become? why do we do something that will require a lie to hide it up? knowing full well that one day you will be found out, will you do something bad?

but if u knew you will never be caught, will it be easier to do/to lie?

why do we have self destructive tendencies? like when everything is going too well, we tend to start to look for the flaw. as though nothing can be this perfect. and thus we do find the flaw and something that was going so well stumbles... and then we regret even looking for it in the first place and yet we feel glad that we found out...

my heart is in pieces now and i don't think it'll ever recover...

"but i do know one thing though, bitches, they come they go,
saturday through sunday, monday, monday through sunday yo,
maybe i'll love you one day, maybe we'll someday grow,
'til then just sit your drunk ass, on that fuckin runway ho"
- superman - eminem

i now give you this glass piece. hold it tight. it's very dear to me. only one thing i ask of you.

nothin else.

never let go.

and yet you do. and now the glass piece is broken. and it'll never be the same. even if u manage to find all the pieces of broken glass and glue it back together. it will never be the same heart i asked you to hold... later...

word of the day...
equilibrium
n.
1.a condition in which all acting influences are canceled by others, resulting in a stable, balanced, or unchanging system.
2.mental or emotional balance; poise.

celcom/nokia 3g mobile apprentice...

2005-09-03T20:56:00.000+08:00

i've been working for this event for the past 3 weeks, me being the roadshow host and paula malai ali and shamser sidhu being the tv hosts. quite exciting, made quite a number of new friends and learnt more about 3g technology...

the team that walked away with 20 thousand ringgit and lotsa other cool prizes was team raskals, two nice chinese boys...

and all the teams got 2 6680 each... and here i am still using a 8210... later...

lucky luke...

2005-08-25T18:02:00.000+08:00

random title day...

woke up today to an sms...

hey locs, your song is on air now in xfresh. it's on light rotation and i it should in the charts by next week. congrats!

sender:
faraa

and i 'm like wow... an hour later got a phonecall from a familiar number

caller : hey loco, this is serena c!
me : hey girl, wassup?
caller : your song will be on air in like 25 mins on hitz! can i call u in 10 mins and we do an on air interview before it goes on?
me : sure thing!(in a really excited voice)
caller : ok, i'll talk to u then...

30 mins later my song came on air as a challenger for the top 30...

oh be still my beating heart...

later that day...

as i drive in to pj, burn on xfresh.fm intros my song on air... what a day, and it has barely begun for me... what a way to start a day... hopefully it goes on heavier rotation...

omg!

just surfed into hitz.fm and my song is no 9 on malaysian top 10!!!

what a turnaround... i'm shellshocked... will be back soon... later...

word of the day...
maybe

• adverb
perhaps; possibly.

blue thunder...

2005-08-22T18:46:00.000+08:00

anyone remember that 80's tv show, that came out the around the same time airwolf did? those were the days... *sigh*

three full days of working in kl plaza does things to you. like a running nose faster than ben johnson(remember him?), weak, fatigued legs and a zombified mind...

malaysian idol season 2... it was so funny when i finally saw the finalist that i was like wow... i knew 4 of them personally... lets give insights for those who don't...

farah - she used to be in the underground hip hop scene way back in the late 90's and was in the group blindside bawlas(this name ring a bell?). another member of this group was carleed, crazy carleed from phlowtron... incidentally they were dating back then... she's a sweetheart though and i wish her all the best...

xerra - now i knew her by her other stage name, that is baby jem when she was singing for the big band who were the resident band in emporium and lotsa other places... she's been in this business for quite a while now and i know she sings better than how she's been doing so far... hope she gets far...

ash - a random friend who i've always seen around town and then next thing i know, he's on tv!

nita - the hidden jem. this sweetie used to be signed under positive tone and and recorded one song which came out as the best english album winner in aim in 97 i think... the song was called true love and the album was called boys & girls 1+1=3. funnily enough that song was produced by none other than !!paul moss!! but since she's no longer under any record label, i'm sure she'll do great... she's a sweetheart too...

the rest? nope, never met em... but good luck anyway. bumped into jac on friday, now that's the superstar, the standard that needs to be met for all this other contestants...

enough gossip for today... will be back with more... later...

word of the day...
gossip

Â noun
1 casual conversation or unsubstantiated reports about other people.
2 chiefly derogatory; a person who likes talking about other peopleÂs private lives.

sunshine posts...

2005-08-16T21:12:00.000+08:00

funny how my readers wanna see more sunshine posts... post where i don't whine but say good things about my life... *smile*

honey : i'm not sure which honey you are, thus i wouldn't know how long you have been reading my stuff...

moe : no worries mate... if i'm in penang i'll holla at ya...

prinz : thx girl...

first week of fantasy football sees my team crash as 4 players don't play and i end up at the foot of the table... *sigh* must make up points...

work starts this weekend and next weekend is nationals... still haven't decided what deck to play as card availability is suspect. preferred decks to play, blue-tron, white weenie and rat deck...

not having a pc at home i guess contributes immensely to the fact that i write nonsensical stuff most of the time. i think of stuff to write down and then when i show up at the pc in this god forsaken cybercafe, i go blank. i'm sure i had stuff to say and yet i can't really think of any. maybe i'll write about my social life...

haven't been clubbing in a while. i'm the type that does clubbing in phases. 6 month phases to be exact. six months i go, six months i disappear... maybe it is the music. maybe it is the people. maybe i'm just getting too old for this shit...

great things happen to those who wait they say and yet, greatness are rewards for those who take risks. whoch one will i follow? right now, certain things, i do half-heartedly... and the other, i'm still waiting patiently... yet patience could be construed as procrastination. it is a fine line i walk on... later...

word of the day...
patience

• noun
1 the capacity to tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without becoming angry or upset.
2 chiefly brit. a card game for one player.

the curse has come upon me...

2005-08-13T17:27:00.000+08:00

well, the xfresh interview was postponed due to the dj being missing in action... oh well... guess i gotta wait for my next 15 minutes of fame...

nice to see new readers on my blog. now if only i would update this often enough. think i will though. at least once a week. since i'm in the yahoo fantasy football league, must come online once a week to update the team. might as well do my blog at the same time.

worked at the pikom pc fair last weekend for samsung. quite fun. next up, back up emcee for shamsir and paula for the celcom/nokia 3gmobile apprentice roadshow... that should be fun, lest the haze sets in again...

funny how the world works. once you think there's nothing else of importance and you settle down for something, something better shows up. then it's dilemma time... god loves me... he just doesn't wanna make it too easy for me... thank you i say...

come what may living everyday is surviving... considering i just found out a close friend has just been diagnosed with a brain tumor... just left me speechless...

makes me know how lucky i am. all my whining or when i think the world's not fair, things like this opens my eyes... gotta keep my feet on the ground. and reach for the stars... always... now, if i can only touch em... later...

word of the day...
haze

• noun
1 a slight obscuration of the lower atmosphere, typically caused by fine particles of dust, pollutants, etc.
2 a state of obscurity or confusion.

just a minute...

2005-08-08T21:23:00.000+08:00

just a quickie as i'm in a rush...

date : aug 10
time : 12 pm
location : xfresh.fm 103.00
event : my first solo radio interview in malaysia

date : aug 13
time : 8.00 pm
location : hitz.tv ch 15 on astro
event : dragon red's amplified concert

more later...

surviving each day isn't really living....

2005-07-26T23:49:00.000+08:00

that's what a friend said when i told her i was surviving... quiet true actually...

been quite inspired lately, with all the new hip hop groups coming up and seeing old friends finally making it after trying so long... i guess it's my turn to shine... or has my light faded away a long time ago?

i find it funny how things have turned out since i was a wee teenager dreaming big dreams... when i would have my alone time and stare out the balcony of my house looking up at the sky. wondering what the future held for me...

list of things i wanted to be or do:
1. be a fiction writer...
2. fall in love...
3. be rap superstar...
4. have money, not lots of it but enough for me...
5. be a famous actor/director...
6. make someone happy...

i guess achieving one out of six is not a bad thing... later...

word of the day...
dream
n.
1.a series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.
2.a daydream; a reverie.
3.a state of abstraction; a trance.
4.a wild fancy or hope.
5.a condition or achievement that is longed for; an aspiration: a dream of owning their own business.
6.one that is exceptionally gratifying, excellent, or beautiful: Our new car runs like a dream.

go 'head envy me...

2005-07-23T17:24:00.000+08:00

"hate it or love it, the underdog's on top
and i'm gon' shine homey until my heart stop
(go 'head envy me, i'm rap's m.v.p.)
(and i ain't goin nowhere, so you can get to know me)"
- the game feat 50 cent "hate it or love it"

Anonymous said...

Dei! Ya own tities-suckingbald fuckPundek! Get a job! no, not a blow job, like u had been doin b4. Get a real JOB, work, earn money. Fuck the single! Its ironic how ya music project & ya life have the same title! SINGLE!...Don't ask people for a place to stay and embarrass ya fam. Finally, don't bother to figure who dis, u KNOW the hordes of real people u fucked & pissed off. Anyway keep it posted bitch, here's a word of the day for ya lazyass: B-Real(The total opposite of ya life to date). I'm serious, no joke, CHANGE! & if ya don't...ma foot b lookin 4 ya dumbass, watch ya back.
8:40 PM

for those who are wondering whats goin on, i found this comment for my previous post...

people never change... for someone who doesn't even know me or claims to anyway, he seems to talk alot of shit. anyone can hide behind anonymous. name yourself and then maybe, just maybe, i'll give a shit about what you said. till then have fun reading about my life... *smiles*

word of the day...
idiot

• noun
1 (informal) a stupid person.
2 (medicine), (archaic) a mentally handicapped person.

hate it or love it...

2005-07-14T17:42:00.000+08:00

"hate it or love it, the underdog's on top
and I'm gon' shine homey until my heart stop"
- the game feat 50 cent

somehow that line strikes a chord in my heart...

been away for a while... call it an exodus. a journey through non electronic means... hence the trip through human emotions. funny how it works. the human mind. reverse psycology and what nots...

since i've been away, i've met crazy people, had fun in parties, worked, played games, qualified for nationals, handled a fashion show, hung out with my mom and lots more... now i'm back online.

yes i missed you...

i managed to pass my single to someone and their comment on it was

"i think it is a unique song and it should played on air!"

well hopefully it would be... i'm still looking for a place to stay so if anyone knows anywhere available just holler aight... i reckon i'd have alot to say and yet i'm not really in the mood to divulge in my dirty laundry... maybe another day i shall open table and explain why my life should be a movie... lol... later...

word of the day...
calm

• adjective
1 not showing or feeling nervousness, anger, or other emotions.
2 peaceful and undisturbed.

• noun
1 a calm state or period.
2 (calms) an area of the sea without wind.

• verb
(often calm down) make or become tranquil and quiet.

that sinking feeling...

2005-06-17T22:54:00.000+08:00

no matter how strong a bridge is built, all it takes to bring it down is a simple flaw...

somehow i've reached a point in my life where i can't just simply do whatever i want. whatever i jump into requires lotsa thinking... like for instance, a month ago, i got pressured into going for a job interview (a proper*sic* job) and i did the whole shebang... assessment test and proper job interview. right before the last interview, i told my mom,

me : i'm gonna get this job but i don't think i wanna do this ma...
mom : why?
me : it's not what i want to do... i don't think i'lll be happy at all...
mom : well, do what u think is right...

of course when your mom says that, it's still leaves ones heart real heavy...

and yes i did get the job. the very next day in fact. it was an interview i was trying to fail yet i passed it anyway... and what did i do? told my mom that i got it but i won't take it cos i went for the interview due to pressure from her and my sister anyway... and i told my sister that i did not get the job...

do i regret this decision? right now?

no.

i don't want to live life regretting everything i did or being afraid of regretting what i "should've" done... or what i should not have done... life's too short to worry bout such events...

i figure if i say this enough times i'll believe it too...

you build something for your future and all it needs to fail is a simple human factor... they say to err is human, yet when it is the same error over and over again, you just can't believe the stupidity of it all... read kitty's blog and it just reaffirms what i believe...

no one truly learns from their mistake. they just learn how not to fall so hard as before...

**********************************************************************************

on another note, i'm currently working in sunway pyramid for the batman begins promo there at the concourse area. so if anyone's in the area from 12 to 9, drop by... i'll be there till this sunday...

on day one of working there, the tgv's marketing manager gives me a free ticket to go watch batman on opening night... damn i love my job!

i loved it! it felt like watching a really long movie trailer... rudy's right though. it needed a better soundtrack. if i'm not mistaken it was hans zimmer and another guy who did the music. ironically, i don't remember hearing even the trademark theme of batman that's been there since the first movie... otherwise, best movie of the year for me...

gotta go back now... sleep beckons. work tommorow... if anyone wants batman merchandise, please drop by... i'll try my best... later...

word of the day...
serendipity

• noun the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

revenge of the fifth...

2005-06-13T18:13:00.000+08:00

we finished fifth and yet we're playing champions league football next year! you'll truly never walk alone...

i've been away for a bit... first was penang, bkt jambul shopping complex and then the weekend after that was kuantan megamall... event: celcom xpax special edition star wars starter pack promotion. azmin would've loved this job. both events was fun and i met up with some old friends... nice to see old familiar faces...

then when i was back, it rained.

in my case when it rains, it pours... god and his amazingly sick sense of humour. or is it his sickeningly amazing sense of humour... anyway, first my car has been having battery problems... then the morning i decided to go get it fixed, i noticed something funny. my other window was smashed as well! to those who don't know, my driver side window was smashed last year and i have been driving with a plactis window since then. now my passenger side window has been smashed as well. was anything taken? no. the door wasn't even opened. they smashed it out of spite. someone just plain hates me i guess...

fuck.

managed to survive without a car for a week. then played in the malaysian regionals tourney and went 3-1. all i needed was another win. alas it was not to be. i lost the next 2 consecutive matches and finished 3-3 and at 18th place.

fuck.

was browsing through my friends blog till i was looking thru kinkybluefairy's blog. now she being a photograper, she puts up lotsa pictures... and was looking thru this pool party she was at and i was like wow. i know alotta ppl at that party. and it looks like it was lotsa fun. wished i was there. then nearing the end of the pictures, i noticed someone. a friend named sea yen.
wait a minute!
i was invited for that party!

fuck!

he had invited me but i was to be in kuantan for work... thus i missed out on seeing lotsa old friends and also a great party... oh well...

emil's wedding. found out about it the night before. would've loved to be there. yet it is all happening at the wrong time... congrats homes. and props for playing you'll never walk alone...

making new friends seems like a chore nowadays. back in the irc days, this was much easier... like :

me : hi
random person : asl?
me : preferably 18-21, yes please and i like to do it on water beds...

nowadays, it's tiring talking about yourself. to tell how downtrodden you have become since those heady high days... even though it is fun to hear about other new people. they never cease to amaze me...

i'm being pushed to be the dj/emcee for the batman begins roadshow this weelend in sunway pyramid. now being a bigger fan of batman than star wars, i really want this job...

have to go meet a new person now... will write more later... btw, lena's back though i'm not thrilled... don't know why... later...

word of the day...
alas

• exclamation literary or humorous; an expression of grief, pity, or concern.

turn the page goddamnit...

2005-05-24T15:14:00.000+08:00

it's been a year... yup. one year since i started writing a blog. amazing i think. considering that i have no internet connection at home. i can't just get up and blog whenever i feel like it. quoting a friend's blog...

"i see mildew growing on the carpets of this blog, having been neglected for so long. ewwww. damp, dark spots... begone!!"
- alysia

true dat. i do take my time updating this blog. and sometimes i just ramble total nonsense. and i don't have nice pics on the blog to make ppl come back again and again... and i don't write mind blowing entries and make thoughtful comments on it(i try my best though) like rudy does on his blog.(this boy has certainly grown up to be more than i've imagined...)

and yet i trudge on... as mudster puts it, blarging on by...

having a nice conversation with a friend...

maviceplaytoy: i'll make ya smile...
maviceplaytoy: or at least i'll try my best..
ladyhugalot: hehe u always make me smile
ladyhugalot: hehe i wish i cud fit u in my pocket
ladyhugalot: so that i could bring you everywhere!
ladyhugalot: hehe
maviceplaytoy: LOL
maviceplaytoy: now that's the funniest thing i've heard in a while...
maviceplaytoy: it would fit amazingly in my resume...
maviceplaytoy: "able to fit in pocket, endless entertainment for all!!"

i would love to have that job... mmmm... breast pockets...

i think i'm imploding socially... like i'm reducing friends or even who i open up too... pushing ppl away.. cos everytime i get close to someone i find out something about them that i didn't want to know in the first place... then things get awkward..

i'll be doing some travelling soon. this weekend, friday, saturday and sunday i should be in bkt jambul penang for the celcom star wars promo. funny part is, i haven't seen star wars yet... yup. i have not seen star wars: revenge of the sith. do i not want to? nope! i really want to. but alas, being homeless, lack of cash and this sudden social imploding... oh well... maybe i'll go see it tonight...

btw, to those who don't know, i'm currently homeless now. staying at my moms and another at the moment... so if you have a place for me anywhere, get in touch ya?

now, could someone please turn the page goddamnit! later...

word of the day...
implode
/implod/

• verb collapse or cause to collapse violently inwards.

won't you please smile for me...

2005-05-11T00:55:00.000+08:00

i wish that people wouldn't be so worried bout me... i hope it isn't pity...

i'll be ok.

i'm currently in the process of sacrifising lotsa things... things will get way better... i hope...

hung out with my old dear driend altaf the other day... this woman is amazing. i've known her for 16 years now and she never ceases to amaze me...

she works in the in a random ngo and has one foot in the un. she's been through amazing things and her stories just has me rooted to my spot... indonesia, uk, geneva, the kremlin... she's been places... she just finished her masters 2 years ago and lives a life that can be written into a book...

more on her later... important day tomorrow... wish me luck... gonna need it... later...

word of the day...
sacrifice

• noun
1 the practice or an act of killing an animal or person or surrendering a possession as an offering to a deity.
2 an animal, person, or object offered in this way.
3 an act of giving up something one values for the sake of something that is of greater importance.

• verb
offer or give up as a sacrifice.

you'll never walk alone...

2005-05-05T23:23:00.000+08:00

i had to put that in. we're in the final of the champions league... ah it feels so good... liverpool.... *sigh*

got one of the most nicest testimonials in friendster from a friend recently, and part of it said :

sashi, you're a diamond in the rough; get polished & shine...

wow...

been meaning to come online and yet i always seem to push it to the next day. you know what my problem is? priorities. i don't have my priorities right. i seem to be planning and planning for every eventuality and yet when the day comes, i have not done what really should have mattered. i guess that's where i differ from others... why they are more successful... my lack of noticing the obvious... it was inevitable that i realised this problem... yet it took me so long...

my brother's wife gave birth to a baby boy on the 30th of april. funny thing is i only found out about it on the 3rd. my mom forgot to tell me. amazing since i was in the very hospital that my sister-in-law was admitted in on sunday. you just gotta love family...

i'm moving out of my current living arrangement by the middle of this month. where am i moving to? i have no idea! currently it's damansara perdana with my soon to be new colleagues... if things works out that way...
if anyone knows a place for rent which is affordable and quiet, get in touch please...

it seems that my friend tech has been getting himself into trouble with his views on the workings of a female mind... hell even i am still at large about it. but some of it do make sense.

"Loco: nowadays love itself doesn't exist."
- me quoting myself from tech's blog

love seems the last thing on anyone's mind nowadays. either it's money, stability, looks, social status etc.
* what happened to falling in love and sticking it out through thick and thin?
* what happened to you making me a better man?
* what happened to for better or worse till death do us part?

i was a hopeless romantic. note the keyword was. now i'm just like any average "playa"/"jerk"/"bastard" out there who's out for fun...

nowadays, if your relationship is on the rocks, you got out and got yourself a new partner. falling in love with more than 1 person is fine. if you got no money/job/social status, you're nobody and you're not worth my time...

i say bullshit.

when i grew up i wanted to fall in love forever.(i didn't know of such things called drama or divorce!) i wanted to meet my better half and she would make me a better man. if we had problems, we'd work it out. through thick and thin. if we were broke, we wouldn't mind, as long as we had each other. love conquered all...

when i grew up, the men were chivalrous and the women were breathtaking...

not so sure if anyone else shares my sentiment still...

is anyone with me?

word of the day...
chivalry

 noun
1 the medieval knightly system with its religious, moral, and social code.
2 the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honour, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.
3 courteous behaviour, especially that of a man towards women.

note to self...

2005-04-25T18:53:00.000+08:00

- get online more often...

- dta...

- more music less games...

why is it that everytime i decide to finally trust someone with my emotions, i get burned all over again? just when you think someone is different, out comes the idiot in em to show you, nope, they're just the same as all else...

i try, i try so hard to see the good in people, but why am i shown the bad instead?

random conversation:
me : why does this happen to me all the time?
ara : you should choose your friends carefully...
me : but i already do. i can count ppl i refer to as friends...
ara : then you move on and find new ones.
me : it hurts everytime... why can't i find ppl that won't throw my trust out the window?
ara : that's reality... you live with it...

well...

if life's a bitch, i wish i can fuck her... later...

word of the day...
trust

• noun
1 firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
2 acceptance of the truth of a statement without evidence or investigation.
3 the state of being responsible for someone or something.
4 law an arrangement whereby a person (a trustee) is made the nominal owner of property to be held or used for the benefit of one or more others.
5 a body of trustees, or an organization or company managed by trustees.

• verb
1 have trust in.
2 (trust with) have the confidence to allow (someone) to have, use, or look after.
3 (trust to) commit (someone or something) to the safekeeping of.
4 (trust to) place reliance on (luck, fate, etc.).
5 have confidence; hope: i trust that you have enjoyed this book.

you never cease to amaze me...

2005-04-07T13:07:00.000+08:00

in reference to my readers that is...

10 comments? wow... seems like my readers are still about... even though i don't get like 35 comments per entry like some of my friends blogs does... no worries... as long as some of my friends know what i am up to and how things are in my life, it's good enough for me...

linking wolf's game shop website... go check out the forums... the inside jokes on this forum could fill a david letterman show for months...

"come to the shop and see me shit!"
- lita

"what!? that's so boring, i'd rather go fishing!"- ah dude

movies to watch :
- the butterfly effect - comes highly recommended...
- monster - charlize theron and cristina ricci at their best...

gotta go have lunch now... later...

word of the day...
fish

• noun (pl. same or fishes)
1 a limbless cold-blooded animal with a backbone, gills and fins, living wholly in water.
2 the flesh of fish as food.
3 informal a person who is strange in a specified way: he’s a cold fish.

• verb
1 catch fish with a net or hook and line.
2 (fish out) pull or take out of water or a receptacle.
3 grope or feel for something concealed.
4 (fish for) try subtly or deviously to obtain (a response or information).

— phrases all’s fish that comes to the net proverb you can or should take advantage of anything that comes your way. a big fish an important person. a big fish in a small pond a person who is important only within a small community. a fish out of water a person who feels out of place in their surroundings. have other (or bigger) fish to fry have more important matters to attend to.

things i gotta do...

2005-04-05T02:21:00.000+08:00

- shamelessly plug my myspace address...

find me on myspace and be my friend!

- make copies of my single to send it out to dj's and radio so that i get some airplay soon...

- read up more on magic and judge more often so i can make level 2 judge and actually deserve it...

- lose some weight that i have gained through my quiting smoking thing...

- actually go out with some friends that i have been promising to see for a while now...
end of list... more to come later...

played in the magic tourney last sunday and boy was it a disappointment... my pool of cards were so bad that i was crestfallen... managed to eek out a 2-4 result... that's rm 70 down the drain...

randomly won the wrestling tourney that i played in two weeks ago, using undertaker again and beating shaz's shane o mac in the final... interesting incident was when joe whom i played in the semis who had this whole plan on how to beat my deck, totally forgot and proceeded to die to my deck... *smile* and the win got me a raw intercontinental title belt... that makes it 3 tourney wins...

next up is the wrestling tourney again in wolf's game shop... i want that tt's of doom!! gotta go for dinner with a friend in kl now... later...

word of the day...
random

• adjective
1 made, done, or happening without method or conscious decision.
2 Statistics governed by or involving equal chances for each item.

i prefer to see the good in you...

2005-03-27T03:17:00.000+08:00

a very naive yet pure sentence...

my guess is that alot of my faithful readers have gone missing, since i rarely go online nowadays, even to post something, or read the wolf game shop forums... no online, no blog post...

and yet i shall write faithfully even if no one reads em, cos i know that i do... years from now it'll sound mighty funny...

singapore... turned out to be a great trip for me... the work was tiring but good... gp singapore ended up teaching me alot of things... managed to squeeze in a night of clubbing on saturday night, even after a long day work, thx to a really dear friend who decided that she would be my host and tour guide for the night and that i would be her tequila drinking partner... not a bad deal considering i had the hottest girl in town walking around with me and me being me was just absolutely enjoying her company...

walking around town where no one knew who i am was quite a thrill... dancing like a madman and enjoying myself without the need to "maintain" was totally enjoyable... wish i could do this more often...

i stayed in marina mandarin, which was right in front on suntec centre and behind it was singapore's durians... funny part is i only found this out on sunday night as i was walking around the esplanade with my friend enjoying the sights... beautiful place, on a sunday night that is...

*to those who are wondering what the durian is, visit : esplanade*
- my hotel is the white building right behind the durian! and the four towers behind that is the suntec office towers...

hopefully i'll get more chances to go on trips like this in the future... last but not least, total amount of singaporean dollars spent on trip : 24 sgd... later...

word of the day...
infatuate *felt this for someone lately*

• verb
(be infatuated with) be inspired with an intense passion for.

leavin' on a jetplane...

2005-03-18T00:48:00.000+08:00

more like a bus... supposed to leave for singapore in the morn. judging duty at the singapore gp. while everyone else here is waiting for malaysian f1, the prodigy party, saturday partying, force of nature concert, i'm going away for the weekend...

if anyone wants to get in touch while i'm in singapore, just sms me. if u don't have my number, look up tech and ask him. and maybe, just maybe he'll give it to you... later...

word of the day...
travel

• verb
1 make a journey.
2 journey along (a road) or through (a region).
3 move or go from one place to another.
4 withstand a journey without adverse effects.

• noun
1 the action of travelling.
2 (travels) journeys, especially abroad.
3 before another noun (of a device) sufficiently compact for use when travelling: a travel iron.
4 the range, rate, or mode of motion of a part of a machine.

a long drawn out day...

2005-03-14T08:16:00.000+08:00

i just had a really long day. since yesterday. started off in the shop where by i took part in a wwe wrestling tourney. playing undertaker, here's a short review...

round one : vs shaz(rey mysterio)
shaz seemed unfamiliar with the mysterio deck and died to my discard smackdown combo...

round two : vs azmin(babe of the year)
female hate cards got me the advantage here and soon i was up on top... but due to the fear that she will undermine my competition, things slowed... till i decided to push her down anyway...

round three : vs ian(rvd)
pump kick, clutch and i'm all set to kill... no chance for the small guy...(i mean big guy)

round four : vs hafiezan(los guereros)
technical playing on my part got me to kill him finally with a 360 degrees clothesline. when i won, i had 109 fortitude on the table..

so at this moment, i had 4 wins, ben(goldberg) had 3 wins, ahmad(fbi) had 3 wins and blur(dudley boyz) had 3 wins.

top four semis : vs blur(dudley boyz)
his discard combo didn't work, thus he died with no fortitude on the table. at this point i was hoping that ahmad would beat goldberg, but it was not to be.

final : vs ben(goldberg)
as i thought, going 5-0 in a tourney don't confirm the tournament for ya... died to golberg recurring everything and hitting me with an inside cradle...

so i finished second... now after this, with my newly won store credit, i drafted magic with rudy, hafiz and zul. not sure what happened but i went 0-3. sucked!

then later at night with andy triona and ahmad, played board-a-lympics game no 12: honor of the samurai!
got bronze.
game no 13: zombies!
got nothing...

after all this has happened, went over to azmin's place and ended up gambling till now... it's 8.48 am and i have not slept yet... need to go get my passport, send raj and johan back and somehow go back to my mom's place... think i'll sleep first... later...

word of the day...
fatigue

• noun
1 extreme tiredness.
2 brittleness in metal or other materials caused by repeated stress.
3 (fatigues) loose-fitting clothing of a sort worn by soldiers.
4 (fatigues) menial non-military tasks performed by a soldier

cold winds and love stories...

2005-03-12T04:48:00.000+08:00

went up to genting for zoukfest, and i was the only one who ended up with a ticket to go in. apparently they had oversold the tickets. my friends who went up could not get in. it was so frustrating for me. i went in anyway with richie & gf and barry & gf.

from 10 pm to 1.30 am : was having fun till it got too packed. left the rave at 4. legs couldn't take it no more...

watched sepet recently. easily the best malay movie i've ever seen in my life..
thought it was a very nicely shot movie, no extravagant stuff. nothing flashy. just nice... made me want to give in to my romantic side again. oh well. if it wasn't for me having friends around me, i would've been very sad indeed... later...

word of the day...
romantic

• adjective
1 inclined towards or suggestive of love or romance.
2 of, characterized by, or suggestive of an idealized view of reality.
3 (romantic) relating to the artistic and literary movement of romanticism.

• noun
1 a person with romantic beliefs or attitudes.
2 (romantic) a writer or artist of the romantic movement.

away i go to a far away land...

2005-03-05T06:52:00.000+08:00

decided on friday night to go to zoukfest. why? i have no idea. i feel compelled to go there. as though i should be there... or it could just be my psycho-mentality screwin with me.

random thoughts run through my head whenever i get an urge to just write. not knowing what to write freezes me yet somehow, thinking of what to write down and actually sitting down to do it seems like two different things. just like now. i know what i should do to finish my single. yet i don't do it. and i know what to do to get my second single done and yet again i don't... why? i don't know. my random procrastinating has done me a whole lot of bad...

maybe if angels in the sky would one day herald my return to sanity as much as i would like it, then i would return to being me again. until then, i am nobody... later...

word of the day...
procrastinate

• verb
delay or postpone action.

birthday wishes...

2005-03-02T02:54:00.000+08:00

little did anyone know that i was running a contest during my birthday. it was called "least expected person to call or message me birthday wishes on my birthday"... 23 people messaged me, or called me to wish me happy birthday... not counting friendster messages and testimonials, these are the people(in no particular order):

alida
alda
pearl
jasmin
vivian
joeiy
anies
mommy*
chechi
eta*
rosnita*
azmin
yana*
yanti*
olga*
lena
tech
eva
bam bam
ida
sashi
wyn nie
may lin*
(* called)

and the winner of the "least expected person to call or message me birthday wishes on my birthday" award goes to
...
(drumroll)
...

olga! after not talkin to her since like late last year, she calls me to wish me happy birthday... now, if someone could tell her that she'd won a prize and needs to call me to collect her prize... hehehe *smiles* later...

so you wanna be a blogstar...

2005-03-01T02:01:00.000+08:00

copied that off the front page of blogger...

my birthday came and went...
how was my brithday? it was spent with a friend who booked me a week before for lunch, which i arrived late for and then at around 7 went over to amcorp, picked up blur and sent him home. then i decided to go back to my mom's place...

i am depressed. though i would like to emphasise here that my feeling of rage is worse, of annoyance, of irritance. at people who promise me stuff and don't deliver. give me a date of delivery and yet f*ck it up at the last minute.

anyway, my birthday was saved by my darling nephew krtine... for a 1 and half year old, he's pretty observant...

things i did in between posts...

- went to the final of blast off. k town clan rocks!
- went to the hitz.fm birthday bash...
- played in a pcq and went 3-2...
- met up my all time fav girl amy who's back from perth...

gotta go play cards now... later...

word of the day...
happy

• adjective (happier, happiest)
1 feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.
2 willing to do something.
3 fortunate and convenient: a happy coincidence.
4 in combination informal inclined to use a specified thing excessively or at random: trigger-happy

and the sun shall set...

2005-02-14T01:57:00.000+08:00

no matter what i'm going through...

wanted to write like really long stories on the jb trip, yet somehow i'm quite deflated after i came back... maybe i'll just drop pointers on major events...

- my roommate, deep(yes thats his name) is quite entertaining... i was drinking like every night i wsa there... sample of deep's sitcom situations...
deep dressed in a celcom shirt and a celcom cap walks in to a petrol station and goes...
deep : can i have a prepaid reload?
counter guy : 019 ah?
deep : no, 016...
counter guy : ??

or how about my conversation with him just before we reached kl again on friday morning...
me : hey deep, where's your office?
deep : oh, it's in melawati.
me : oh, where in melawati?
deep : in ulu kelang.
me : where in ulu kelang?
deep : ampang...
me : huh??

- more insights into the social conditions of the world nowadays...
celcom crew : do you smoke?
me : no.
celcom crew : oh, you good boy.
me : wow, you should be a psychologist...

just with one question, he has totally sussed me out... my whole personality and the works... wish it was that easy...
jb trip statistics :
trip down to jb,
crew total : 9(9 male)
smoking crew : 8(8 male)

crew in jb,
crew total : 15 (11 male, 4 female)
smoking crew : 12 (10 male 2 female)

- had this guy named param singh who came up to me and sang to me while i was playing music... he was requesting for some songs...
then he asked me for 2 ringgit... *smile*

- watching war occur in jb at midnight chinese new year... firecrakers everywhere... it felt like watching cnn... you don't get to see this in kl...

how to speak indonesian? add the word dong at the back of every sentence dong...

will write more as i go along... btw, performed with my brother's band on sat night for the petronas f1 launch at dataran merdeka... was fun... later...

word of the day...
love

• noun
1 an intense feeling of deep affection.
2 a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone.
3 a great interest and pleasure in something.
4 a person or thing that one loves.
5 (in tennis, squash, etc.) a score of zero. apparently from the phrase play for love (i.e. the love of the game, not for money).

• verb
1 feel love for.
2 like very much.
3 loving showing love or great care.

last day in jb...

2005-02-10T13:08:00.000+08:00

snuck in to write this before work starts...

to those who are reading this and know that my birthday is approaching, please do not wish me before it is actually the day itself... it's a "pantang" i have, lest i don't reach my own birthday...

and no i do not celebrate valentine... i think it's too comercialised...

will be back in kl later tonight... will be good to be back home... later...

a day in the life of an emcee...

2005-02-07T15:01:00.000+08:00

i'm in johor baru again. i didn't even have the chance to write about the previous and here i am with more experiences here...

am in a random cyber cafe... i'm working for celcom xpax... so if you're in jb, go by plaza seni besides city square... i'll be there from 12 to 8...

back to work now... later...

word of the day...
redundant

• adjective
1 not or no longer needed or useful; superfluous.
2 chiefly Brit. made unemployed because one’s job is superfluous to requirements.

name card of all ages...

2005-02-01T04:08:00.000+08:00

while the lion dance team was performing, the leader of the troupe gave us his name card. it said:

persatuan jasmani pak hock
persatuan wushu johor

kee poo woo

at the back of the card, was another card that read:

yew hup painting and welding workshop

kee poo woo

specialise in car welding, panel beating, spray painting, polish, deal with new & used cars
website:www.pakhock.com

talk about saving space... later...

round jb with a cd bag...

2005-02-01T03:49:00.000+08:00

in reference to tony hawks' round ireland with a fridge...

came back from an eventful jb work trip. will write more about it later... highlights include :
- walking around the car park for an half an hour looking for my boss' car...
- performed some random song on stage in a club while being totally drunk!
- lack of running water in the hotel room...
- dancin' with a girl named summer... (she hot too...)

happy to be back home. now, need to get paid... later...

word of the day...
meander

• verb
1 follow a winding course.
2 wander in a leisurely or aimless way.

• noun
a winding bend of a river or road.

a hint of sadness and all things random...

2005-01-25T06:28:00.000+08:00

my life is a sitcom... it has all the ingredients. hot chicks. hype lifestyle. funny situations. unfortunately i'm not the star of the show. everyone else is...

judged the betrayers of kamigawa pre-release on sat and sunday. was fun as usual... magic still is fun. doesn't feel so competitive to me no more, nevertheless still fun. was in cititel hotel mid valley for 2 whole days...

boardalympics update.
monopoly : punk andy wins gold due to arse ahmad making a horrendous miscalculation. triona silver, me bronze.
settlers of cataan : triona wins her first gold by whooping the boys! me silver. andy bronze.
munchkins : was the most intense game of munchkins i've ever seen or played in, ever! in the end, triona with her insane luck, drew bomb cards and won her second gold medal. andy silver. ahmad bronze! also broke my "won a medal in all events so far" record to pieces...
better luck next time huh?

random events:- (in no particular order)
- farah waking me up at 4 in the morning to tell me how passion was like on saturday night while i was trying to get enough sleep because i was due to wake up at 7.
- lena calling me up and asking me to drop by before she goes for her east malaysia holiday. brought tech along and it was nice to see her again. she somehow seemed different... better... she sounded like she missed me... or it's just me putting my foot in my mouth again. been doing that alot lately...
- alida calling me up and just so that she happened to be with ida and miriam... been wanting to meet up with ida so it was nice to hang out with em...
- *mental note* never get in a car driven by ida. nevertheless, bukit permai was beautiful...
- getting up from the mamak at gombak, near tech's place and having this guy pass me this note while saying that a girl wanted to get to know me... *smiles* her note read "hye, would like to get to know you. you can call me if you insist. this is my number. 016-********. nadiya"
- me fondling azmin trying to distract him while playing a really fun game of puerto rico!
- when i started writing this entry, i was alone in this room at the cybercafe. now this random chinese dude comes in to play an idiotic sounding game... what happened to playing intelligent computer games?
- noticed all these new hip hop groups coming up and also the other "veterans" in the business re-inventing themselves... somehow it seems that i deserve to be there and yet i'm not... it's melancholic i tell you... i feel so confuzzled...

what's there to look forward to? let's see...
- will be in jb this weekend for work purposes... money!
- which means my single can be completed!
- my birthday... *smile*
- something to do with ciara, petey pablo and me... mmmmm....

read the bible code II: the countdown... so fatalistic... more books to read now, courtesy of lena... later...

word of the day...
flirt

• verb
1 behave playfully in a sexually enticing manner.
2 (flirt with) experiment casually with (an idea or activity).
3 (flirt with) deliberately risk (danger or death).

• noun
a person who habitually flirts.

i carry a smile when i'm broken in two...

2005-01-19T03:26:00.000+08:00

tony rich project... if anyone remembers... something else i feel now...

boardalympics started today... for more info on it, read triona's and/or azmin's blog. so far we played 5 events and i have 1 gold(uno stacko), 2 silver(paper rock scissors & battleship) and 2 bronze(bonanza & boggles??). and considering that i'm in the group of death with andy(i'm the malaysian monopoly champion)(really he is!!), ahmad(i will whop anyones ass in monopoly and scrabble) and triona(i'm a biatch and super competetive so don't mess with me!), i'm quite surprised... hope i do well in the coming events this thurs...

head judging was fun... especially when u award a game loss to a player playing against the level 3 judge... in all i awarded 3 game losses and 1 warning. i would like to do this more often...

nice to know that everyone wants to slap me silly and call me sally... *smiles* now if i only knew who everyone were... if u read my blog on a regular basis, could you pls introduce yourself on the comments... thank you... btw, dudek should be shot... later...

word of the day...
destiny

• noun(pl. destinies)
1 the events that will happen to a person, regarded as predetermined by fate.
2 the hidden power believed to control this; fate.

— origin latin destinata, from destinare ‘make firm, establish’.

slap me silly and call me sally...

2005-01-16T01:03:00.000+08:00

those who have been hanging out with me often enough lately would know that this phrase utters out of my mouth often! it's a line from the movie blankman...

head judgin my first tourney tomorrow in century comics since i became a level 1 judge. interested in going for level 2...

why do i keep doing this to myself? i don't know. but i guess once a year is manageable... so far...

let's go over this again... non-existent love life, cash strapped, random sex life, sleepless insomniac nights? that kinda sums me up...

thx to triona, i'm wondering who else reads my blog besides my close friends... could you pls introduce yourself to me? *smile* privacy guaranteed...

kinda like my old entry titled who am i to you... gtg read dci penalty guidelines for tomorrow... go ahead! slap me silly and call me sally! later...

word of the day...
fool

• noun
1 a person who acts unwisely.
2 historical a jester or clown.

• verb
1 trick or deceive.
2 (fool about/around) act in a joking or frivolous way.
3 (fool around) n. amer. engage in casual or extramarital sexual activity.

• adjective
n. amer. informal foolish or silly.

— origin old french fol ‘fool, foolish’, from latin follis ‘bellows, windbag’, by extension ‘empty-headed person’.

confessions of a nocturnal creature...

2005-01-11T06:43:00.000+08:00

it's day 19. 19 days since i quit smoking. i'm a quitter. and i hope to quit for good...

situation checklist
1. hang out with friends that smoke - check
2. play in a card game tournament - check
3. lepak in the mamak for more than 5 hours - check
4. play pool in a pool club - check
5. go clubbing (hardest chellenge) - check
6. watch movies at home on the pc - check
7. get really depressed - check

any other suggestions?

i hate to admit it, but i do miss my fav person of the moment... haven't heard from her recently. even though it has only been 5 days... i wish her all the best in her exam tomorrow...

my single? it's slightly delayed. due to financial constraints... i'm up for robbing a bank. who's with me?

met ms cage the other day. at another friends birthday party. i miss that girl. even though i only recently got close to her, i've grown quite fond of her...

finished watching smallville season 3. am now attached to that show... damn you joe! also saw shaun of the dead...great movie!

my withdrawal symptoms are better... my fever has gone, my cough and flu slowing down... ah... it's 7 am... am now in barry's cybercafe... breakfast beckons... later...

word of the day...
random

• adjective
1 made, done, or happening without method or conscious decision.
2 statistics governed by or involving equal chances for each item.

— origin originally in the sense impetuous headlong rush; from old french randon ‘great speed’, from randir ‘gallop’.

tears in heaven...

2005-01-03T01:15:00.000+08:00

suddenly the really close tragedy just got closer... just found out that i knew someone who died in the tsunami disaster. someone whom i had a crush on. someone who had her potentially beautiful life cut short. suddenly my troubles just seem so ... minute...

rest in peace
kara

absence makes the heart go yonder...

2005-01-02T22:50:00.000+08:00

once again i find myself in a position where i can't write what i want to... *smiles* oh well... does anyone actually care?

my withdrawal symptoms have started... the coughing came and went, now my tonsils are swollen and i have a really painful mouth ulcer... due to my wisdom tooth i think... i can barely open my mouth, much less eat without flinching... heavy breathing, shortness of breath, slight fever... feels like i'm still smoking...

word of the day...
catalyst

• noun
1 a substance that increases the rate of a chemical reaction without itself undergoing any permanent chemical change.
2 a person or thing that precipitates an event.

had a good new years. one word sums it up though... random. my performance in orange was good. sorry if i didn't really invite anyone for it. it was kinda last minute anyway... exactly at 12 i was standing outside orange looking at the sky wishing i was somewhere else...

randomly found this article in mtvasia.com
Loco Out Of Ammo
July 10, 2002

Malaysia - It was only last year that we heard of Land Slyde leaving local rap outfit, Poetic Ammo. Now another shocker has come our way. According to reliable sources, the same tragedy has happened to Slyde’s younger brother, C.Loco.

C.Loco, an integral part of Poetic Ammo, alongside founding members Yogi B and Point Blanc, was asked to leave the rap outfit, reason being, he was just not good enough. Allegations of him not being committed enough to the band was also overheard, according to reliable sources.

This disturbing news couldn’t come at a worse time, seeing that the guys were working on new material, that was supposed to be released last month.

Official announcement is yet to be made by Poetic Ammo’s recording label, Positive Tone.

-- Reeta Sidhu

feels just like it was yesterday... btw, the reliable sources that reetha is refering to is me... i told her what happened...

woke up the next morning and played in the vs sat tourney. went 4-0. mmmm... then drafted and went 1-4. then went to watch liverpool-chelsea in hartamas. sorry to say this but chelsea has resorted to cheating and referee bullying to win matches nowadays. just like arsenal and man u. well like they say, good guys always finish last... worked today in metro kajang... was bored to bits... anything for cash to eat i guess...

maybe...
one day i'll stop worrying bout money,
one day i'll understand why,
one day she will love me,
one day i won't have to cry...

maybe...
one day i'll know what to say,
one day i'll know what to do,
one day i'll make everyone happy,
one day i'll be god for a day for you...

that'll be the day that i die...

be what may, if the gods wishes it so...

2004-12-30T01:22:00.000+08:00

then that is what will transpire... who am i to f*ck with fate?

is it just me, or does this new year feel like any other normal day... just another reason to party?

i just feel normal... feel no reason to celebrate... how has my year been? mmmmmm... almost like the previous one as well. anything worth mentioning that happened involving me in the year? let's see...
- almost finished my single
- performed in x games on my birthday with my brothers band
- quit smoking
- started this blog
- met someone who is worth feeling pain for again...

to those who told me good luck with me quitting smoking, thx... and i am doing it because of me. just needed a catalyst. been wanting to quit for ages now. shortness of breath, chest pains, nicotine cravings... i started hating the dependency i had for nicotine... and the smell...

i really want to quit for good. but like rudy said, it's easy to quit, and easy to pick it up again... i think it's more like it's hard to quit, but so easy to pick up again...

i most probably will be performing in orange for new years eve... merry christmas everyone, and have a safe new year... later...

word of the day... (so thats what it actually truly means... *smile*)
melancholy

• noun
deep and long-lasting sadness.

• adjective
sad or depressed.

— derivateves melancholic adjective.

— origin greek melankholia, from melas ‘black’ + khole ‘bile’, an excess of which was formerly believed to cause depression.

wise men say...

2004-12-27T23:44:00.000+08:00

only fools rush in....

random typical conversation:-

random friend : how've u been ? it's been so long since we've talked... anything new?
playtoy (me) : nothing much really. same old, same old... i'm "still" working on my single/album. i'm "still" single. i'm "still" broke and etc...
random friend : ok. i just wanna wish you all the best...
playtoy : thx...

today's random conversation:- (if i had one that is...)

random friend : how've u been ? it's been so long since we've talked... anything new?
playtoy : yeah! i quit smoking the other day. i had my last cigarette 4 days, 5 hours and 30 minutes ago.
random friend : really ? wow! how'dya do it?
playtoy : it was a christmas present for someone... also for me as well. oh and my single will be released on the 15th of january. during the hitz.fm birthday bash if everything goes well... just for radio airplay first...
random friend : not for sale ?
playtoy : no. not enough money to press singles for sale...
random friend : so who is this *wink* person you quit smoking for?
playtoy : my fav person at the current moment... she's been my fav person for quite a while now...
random friend : i knew it! it's for a girl... if it was a guy i'd be worried...
playtoy : i'd be worried too... thought i got over the whole gay bit...
random friend : you were gay?
playtoy : mmm... i was... ermm... happy! yeah gay as in happy! yeah...

*editors note - playtoy is not gay and never was, well the last time i checked anyway... *smile*

performed twice in orange over the past 2 weeks... once for their r&b night and the other was for hitz.fm club hitz ice rush x'mas party... was ok... just did the single... got good response for it...

ironically, the last time i really quit something was also during christmas, 2001, i quit drinking... that lasted 9 months... hope i can quit smoking for good... to my friends who have been supportive, thx..

tech : i give him 8 months... just expecting that random phone call... (the last time i quit drinking, i called him up and asked him if i can drink...)
richie : i give him 3 months! tops!

wow guys... thx for the vote of confidence... *lol* i love my friends...

andy : locs, rokok jom...
locs : i quit man...
andy : really? oh.. jom ah rokok!
locs : i mean like really! *lol*

one more for the road...

(as i was leaving rudy's place after the christmas party at his place the morning after...)
rudy : here you go dude(passes me a new box of dunhill reds)
locs : but dude, i quit smoking... (blur look on face)
rudy : really? i thought you were joking...
locs : hahhaha... yeah i'm for real...
rudy : you can have it anyway, just in case...
locs : it's ok dude... i'll be fine...

and i'm the perennial martyr/fool... am i to blame? later...

word of the day... (yes manshaan, i looked it up...)
testimonial
/testimoniel/

• noun
1 a formal statement testifying to someone’s character and qualifications.
2 a public tribute to someone and to their achievements

pleasant distraction...

2004-12-20T02:32:00.000+08:00

a name of a card from the versus trading card game. made sense today.

as i played in the 10k tourney which i've been playtesting for the past three weeks for, the function room opposite us had the international tourism model photography session. definitely a pleasant distraction.

highlight of the day : as we stood there watching these lovely ladies walking around, the mother of one of the players stood besides us and were egging us on as we checked these girls out. the most cool part was this was a cool tudung-wearing makcik who spoke excellent english and was from ipoh! never judge a book by its cover!

cool-tudung wearing makcik : go ahead son, choose one girl!
son : mmm... ok ma...
me & tech : dang makcik! you rock!
cool tudung-wearing makcik : you want to choose one of the girls, choose someone near, like the thailand girl...
tech & me: now you talkin makcik!
cool tudung-wearing makcik : "ooh ooh ooh"(like the arsenio hall show chant. she even does the fist throwing gesture!)

at this point in the conversation me & tech just burst out laughing because it was just so random....

tourney review: (if you're not a card game fan, you might wanna skip this paragraph)

i went 4 wins 5 loss. could've done better. finished 44. out of 84. it was round 8 that knocked me out. i was playing against common enemy, the deck that has a 70% winning percentage against my deck(fearsome five/gotham knights). somehow i managed to survive everything he threw my way and it was turn 8. now to those who don't know, if my deck reaches turn 9, my win percentage is like 95%. turn 8. all i had to do is survive this turn. and it was likely that i would. then disaster struck. he pushed me into the attack phase and without realising it, my formation was terrible.(this means he's gonna open a can of whoop ass on me!) my bad! i let him rush me. then even at that, i could've done a major play! but i just didn't see it and proceeded to die on that turn. as soon as i lost, big yap walked up and told me how i could've survived! i was devastated! the game should've been mine! oh well... my opponent walks away mumbling "i was lucky". you damn right punk, you got lucky! till the next big tourney... btw, i'm quitting playing magic. just wanna concentrate on judging... maybe a few sealed tourney here and there.

had dinner in amcorp and then decided to go online in ss 2, where i am right now. got here and fell asleep in my car for like a good 2 hours? then my fav girl of the moment lena came over and picked me up to go do some chore with her friends tagging along. grace, pingsi? and samantha. nice girls. had a drink in starbucks before she sent me back to my car... it has been a long day. on a great note, liverpool beat newcastle 3-1 just now. cool...

to those who showed that they were there for me after reading my last blog entry, thx. and those who are still worried, don't be. this once in a while depression thing is actually good for me, i guess. it usually makes me stronger... i guess... *smile* later...

word of the day...
con·tent
adj.
Desiring no more than what one has; satisfied.
Ready to accept or acquiesce; willing: She was content to step down after four years as chief executive.

n.
Contentment; satisfaction.

definition of an off-tangent manic...

2004-12-17T01:40:00.000+08:00

de•pressed /dprest/ adj.

1 very sad and without hope: She felt very depressed about the future.
2 suffering from the medical condition of depression
3 (of a place or an industry) without enough economic activity or employment: an attempt to bring jobs to depressed areas
4 having a lower amount or level than usual: depressed rates / prices

yup... i totally agree... very sad and without hope... and how bout that economic reference... i am totally broke..

broke /brk; AmE brok/ adj.

[not before noun] (informal) having no money: I'm always broke by the end of the month. During the recession thousands of small businesses went broke (= had to stop doing business). flat / stony broke (= completely broke)—see also break

just paints a picture of a thousand words... all i want for christmas is "a way to earn constant cash on a monthly basis."
and then there are ppl who say i should get a proper job. like what? i'm not qualified for anything... i've tried...
random note : there's this random chinese guy listening to old 80's music a few pc's away! crush on you is playing now... *impressed!*

not forgetting that i'm feeling lonely as well...

lone•some /lnsm; AmE lon-/ adj. (especially AmE)

1 unhappy because you are alone and do not want to be or because you have no friends: I felt so lonesome after he left.
2 (of a place) where not many people go; a long way from where people live: a lonesome road note at alone

don't get me wrong... it's not human contact i'm lacking. or female contact. or physical contact(*smiles*)... it's just someone to hold me when i least expect it. or someone to kiss me. it has been a while since someone kissed me instead of me kissing them... or someone to tell me it'll all be ok... that somehow i'll manage... and that i'll survive... that i'll be somebody again someday. to have someone to believe in you is an amazing feeling... just that i can't trust anyone anymore...

off-tangent rant:
why am i doing a single and not an album? cos i can't afford an album... why am i doing it in the first place? because it's the only thing i know how to do? am i trying to prove myself to anyone?

no

i'm doing this because i want to. because i know i can. because i have something to share with ppl out there and this my only fast closing window...

fuck it... if life's a bitch, i wish i can fuck her...

to end this really bad entry, lemme flick a paragraph from a friend's blog...

"get a grip.........

ps: if anyone reads this, and starts worrying.... please do not call me..... the last thing i can handle right now is like ten thousand (slight exaggeration here) phone calls , asking if i have lost it... or if i'm ok....

i willllll persevere..... (sashi[that's me!] comes to mind as i type those three words)
after all, i have been through worse.... or as bad as this before and survived....
i am after all... nothing short of a "champion" ;)"

later...